Lesson learned~ Be humble, You aren't that good~

Anger makes a person lose itself, lose its morality and all his senses. When i am in anger, I will hide myself from my morality because i feel shame to face it and that shameful feeling boost my anger even more which i don't know why.

Why am i angry out of a sudden? Haha, because i felt looked down. All because in the past what i have experienced built this mindset that, my council is capable to do our job well and i don't allow them to critise or to correct. This built in mindset causes me to get fustrated when people start reminding me things which i had already know because to me it seems like i am as incapable to do my job properly that i need people to remind me. Because in the past this are the word I say for the past people which the didn't fulfill their responsibility and now we are doing well, or far more better and i still get such reminders.

Now i can say, I see myself too high up le. I have a uncle who is like a kid as he got brain damage since young. I saw him tearing the magazine today and my dad joked,"haha, you've tear the magazine. later mother will scold you liao" and he keep claiming that it was for tearing. (one of the pages is foldable where 1 page can open up into one big page = 2 pages)I was thinking in mind,"aiya, its ok, he is not as clever to see that the page should be open from the center, and he sees the edge join tats why he tear what."

I sound so right rite? later when i read till that page, i ended up tearing as well...haha...because there are really dotted lines meant to be teared out and became another magazine. It enlightens me. I have thought i am so good and actually i am not. I am not always right and the thought that he is much stupid then me is a wrong concept.

Now i think again, I looked too high up on myself, its time to tune down and be humble. i told myself,"Am i so good? You might never know the one you thought is bad turns out to be the first. You said you don't need comments and reminder? When you really miss out on the points, thats when you 'll get it. Don't be so quick to show how capable are you, if you are really capable, no need to afraid that people couldn't see. If what people had reminded me is what i had in mind already, then its a good sign, it shows that I am good. if not, then i can avoid of making that wrong move. The proud ones always loses, and the humble ones are the real capable ones."

I got to do something to me aversion, it is growing, bet too much things in the club boil my blood as all had exceed my boiling point. Defilments can be supressed, but it is still there, best is to eleminate it = nibanna. no way le.

Precious friendship, treasure it...

Getting used to me takes 1/1/2 years... haha... happy nite is 20/9 . Where i really see them now. No longer i need to avoid from them, no longer i am an extra in the group and i feel comfortable to stay around with them.

"The friend who is a helpmate,
the friend in happiness and woe,
the friend who gives good counsel,
the friend who sympathises too —
these four as friends the wise behold
and cherish them devotedly
as does a mother her own child."

Isn't they are as good? Whether F6 or F8 it all means the same people namely: Ian, Yan qing, Zhi Ling, Jaclyn, Jonathon, David, Hong Zhi and Me. I hope we last long together, I am lucky to have them, to meet them in this very life of mine.
I always treat them as one since the start.


Eh~....I guess all i lost in this picture is a proper smile. I will smile more and make sure the next photo i put will be a nice one...Promise~!

Xinhao, treasure what you have now. No matter what difficulties you are faced with, those are incomparable. I am lucky that i am not led astray, I am lucky that i am be able to have parents, i am happy to have both spiritual friends and true friends. Thanks to u, my previous life, that i had accumulate some good kamma and merits, though i have my bad kamma on my appeareance. that little bad kamma is incomparable with my good kamma.

Precious lessons from uposatha

Hmm... ended. The sun has risen and now its raining. Intresting fact that, when your stomach is hungry, sometimes its just for the sake of craving. Mooncakes are placed on the table, and all i was having in mind was the taste of mooncake, the taste of food. I seems to be going after all this taste, not to nourish the body, not to ease hunger. Thats craving.

When i walk pass the T.V. automatically i will turn my head over, and suddenly remember i can't watch it, tats entertainment. I had lost my mindfulness. When i tried to meditate, the mind was so restless, thinking here thinking there, oculdn't be still, arh, i see that the mind is so messy. Full of thoughts, full of desire for things.

I am very hungry at one part of time, almost gave up, because i took the precepts late and i missed my lunch b4 noon. that whole very day i only take in honey and tea. Good that it trains my determination, even after my precepts has ended, I still carry on the determination, which i knw, actually i don't need to take in all this unnecessary things, cos i am nt hungry. Eat is to destroy old feeling "hunger" but not to arise new feeling of over eating. Eat for the norishment of the body, not for play, not for fattening, Just to maintain this body of mine.

Desire is a cause of suffering. One of the truth is that we don't always get that we want and when u desire for something, and you dun get it, thats when suffering comes. Don't desire to have more, contentment is the best. When you are contented, you are happy of what you have, you don't need more and you wun got unhappy because you haven't enough.

Even though i still have desire, but at least i learned how to control. I can notice all this defilments arising. All through the cultivation of the mind Mindfulness. When you are mindful, you see the real side, not deluded by perception and ideas. You sees it at what it is.

Once again i have seen all this truth, the precious truth that will end my suffering.
I read books, meditate instead of watching tv, play games and i learned more. Time spent is more meaningful.

"These two are wise people. Which two? The one who sees his transgression as a transgression and the one who rightly pardons another who has confessed his transgression"

Why are they wise? Think about it...

Heart broken...

I was with a group of friends..namely: YC, Ian, ZL, JAC, HZ, JON, David... well, it was always called F6...

To me, "F6" tells a story of the six friends... something between the 6 people that which i dun hav. I was always feeling out of place... just lyk an extra, a passer-by, an invited guest. I could just left out of mind, maybe, cause i am nothing significant to them.

If u are comforatble with this name, then ok, but even though it doesn't mean anything to you, doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything to me.

It mean something to me and it hurts when u say, "so what?" "why do you get so sensitive over it..."

This group of people means alot to me, but maybe i am just the one treating them the wrong way, just like treating a stranger as your son, while he don't even know you.

I don't blame them, but i am pitying myself that in my life, i don't have a friend which really belongs to me. The buddha calls this attachment, craving and suffering. I am a sentient being, the word "Sentient" has explained everything already, i am not an arahant which free from greed, hatred and delusion, thou working towards but i means i still have them.

Feeling and relationship is my weakest point. Maybe you can say that i am a guy which is over sensitive, but they meant alot to me which maybe no one could really understand why.

My uposatha 8 precepts will end when the sun has come out and i learned, idle chat is not beneficial and it stir my mind once again. Buddha was right and therefore is in the precepts that one shld avoid lying, harsh speech, vain talk and slandering. One should say what is true and beneficial, and saying them at the right time.
Fruitful cultivation.

What is acceptable in the 6/7/8 precepts

In the 6th precept follows the practice of bhikkhus and aims at cutting down the sloth which is experienced after a day's work and a substantial evening meal, while it ensures that the body is light and fit for meditative practice. In the precept, the words "outside the time" mean after twelve noon until dawn the following day. During this time no food is eaten.

If one is troubled by tiredness after work on a day when these precepts are undertaken then tea or coffee are allowable as refreshing drinks.

If hunger is the trouble then cocoa (or even plain chocolate) should cure it. None of these refreshments should contain milk, which is considered a food, though sugar, honey and butter are allowed (to bhikkhus, and therefore to lay people keeping the Eight Precepts), presumably because one can take only a little of these things. Fruit juices which have been strained (without fruit pulp) are other possible drinks.

In the 7th precept, it is not proper :

-for one to ask another to perform so that one may watch

If A enlists B to dance and/or to sing, then you should not watch or listen. In this instance the sila will not be broken. But the sila would be broken for those who watch or listen, though not on the grounds of one's ordering another to dance or sing.
Even if one orders another to watch the said activities, the one who gave the orders would not have breached the precept.

-Listening to music is not suitable

the breaking of the precept lies in the effort exerted in going to watch shows. If we are standing, sitting or lying down in our own place, that is, if we do not put forth the effort to go and watch, and if such shows or entertainments come to us or pass by, it is not a breach of the precept for us, though the sila would be tarnished. But in any case, not to listen or watch is the best. The listening to or singing of songs is a breach of the precept, except with such ballads as contain Dhamma that causes faith to arise as well as arousing weariness with the suffering of our life.
For example, one Thera (senior bhikkhu) heard a slave woman singing about life's troubles. When the Thera heard this, he saw the tediousness of suffering and achieved attainments on the Path. This type of song can be listened to and is not detrimental.

The precept is to avoid cosmetics that beautify the body, not to avoid that which is medicinal. So if one apply powder of perfumed stuffs for medicine, precept is not broken

The 8th precept:

Beds and stools, made of boards, rattan or cloth, may have many curved or straight legs. The bed should not exceed 8 sugata inches (approximately 20 modern inches) in height, measured from the base board down. Exceeding this height would make the bed unallowable.

High beds and seats tend to lead to boastfulness and excitement. Thus the purpose behind not sitting or lying on high seats or beds is to avoid the possibility of such things leading to lust.

The bed is not measured in this fashion. The term 'big' here refers to coverings and decorations that should not be used. The Atthakatha Acariyas have arranged a list of nineteen.

A seat adorned with images of fierce animals such as tigers, crocodiles, etc.
Pelts with long fur. (The hairs exceed four inches in length.)
Spreads made of wool, which are intricately embroidered.
Spreads made of wool, with intricate designs.
Spreads made of wool, with pictures of flowers.
Spreads made of wool, with intricate pictures of various animals.
Spreads made of wool, with hair on both sides.
Spreads made of wool, with hair on one side.
Spreads made out of tiger skins.
Red canopy furnishings.
Elephant rugs.
Horse rugs.
Chariot rugs.
Spreads woven of gold and silk and trimmed in gold.
Spreads woven of silk and trimmed in gold.
A woolen spread big enough for 16 dancers to dance on.
Spreads made from civet pelts.
Beds with red cushions at both ends.
A mattress stuffed with nothing but kapok.

Another explanation of the term 'big' or 'large' bed here is that it refers to a bed big enough for two or more persons. Those who keep the Uposatha precepts stay away from beds such as these, which are meant for couples.

Mattresses stuffed with wool or feathers or with fur from bipeds or quadrupeds but not with human hair.
Mattresses stuffed with cloth.
Mattresses stuffed with bark.
Mattresses stuffed with grass.
Mattresses stuffed with leaves, except for the leaves of the Borneo camphor. The leaves of the Borneo camphor, if mixed with the leaves of other trees, are allowable.
Mattresses in the above list have been allowed by the Buddha.

Even though the Sutta mentions only lying down, the Atthakatha Acariyas here include sitting as well. This is similar to the seventh precept, where the Atthakatha Acariyas include listening in the prohibition against the watching of dancing, singing, etc. Standing or walking on a seat or bed is not prohibited.

3 types of uposatha

There are three types of Uposatha, arranged in order of low, medium and high practice. The three are:

niggantha-uposatha — Uposatha observed by heretics is called niggantha-uposatha.
copala-uposatha — Uposatha practiced by lay men and women who appear as though they were hired cowhands is known as copala-uposatha.
ariya-uposatha — Uposatha as kept by upasakas and upasikas, being special due to the terms of practice, is called ariya-uposatha.

The niggantha-uposatha is the partial or incomplete observance of the Uposatha. In connection to the first precept, those who observe this Uposatha might refrain from taking life in the direction of the west but not in the other directions. They may refrain from killing their own mothers, fathers, relatives, friends or certain animals which are dear to them, but they do not refrain when it comes to other beings. The other precepts are practiced along these lines. In short, this group keeps the precepts as they like. This observance is called niggantha-uposatha.

The method of requesting and observing the copala-uposatha is correct according to the Dhamma-Vinaya, as we see in the example of today's upasakas and upasikas. But after they request the Uposatha, they indulge in low speech. There is talk of villages, towns, mountains, trees, fields, gardens, buying and selling, grandchildren, here and there, this and that person, etc. Such talk is not conducive to wholesomeness (kusala) and does not lead one to reap the benefits of happiness and faith in the Uposatha that one has observed. The Atthakatha Acariyas have thus compared such people to hired cowhands (not the owners of the cow). In the morning the hired hands herd the cattle in search of food. In the evening they herd the cattle back to the owner. After they are paid a fair amount of money, they think: "Tomorrow we will feed the cattle here, and the next day we will feed them over there. Grass and water are abundant here but not so over there." Again and again this is what takes place. The hired hands never partake of the products of the cow, such as fresh milk and butter. Such observance is called copala-uposatha.

From the time that the ariya-uposatha is undertaken, if it is the right time and place, then samatha and vipassana should be practiced in accordance with one's preference and skill. If one's practice of kammatthana (meditation) leads to a stilling of the unwholesome states through such practices as tadan-gapahana (the abandoning by substitution of opposites), then one should continue with this effort. If the mind becomes unsettled, or it is not the time or place for meditation practice, and if there is faith-inspiring Dhamma talk taking place, then one should join in such conversation. This is useful in that it leads to knowledge and can correct any misunderstandings we may have. One should not participate in such talk with a sense of competition, winning, losing, etc. If such Dhamma talk does not lead to the benefits mentioned above, and if there is a Dhammadesana, then one should go and listen so as to fortify one's saddha (faith), hiri (fear of doing evil deeds), ottappa (the fear of the results of evil deeds), suta (that which is learned through hearing), viriya (energy), sati (mindfulness), and pañña (wisdom), causing them to develop. We also listen to the Dhamma in order to cause samvega (a sense of urgency or faith) to arise. If, for whatever reason, problems arise, so that listening to Dhamma does not lead to benefits as mentioned above, then one should practice a kammatthana that is suitable. The Atthakatha Acariyas have pointed out six objects for kammatthana practice which are suitable for the ariya-uposatha. They are:

Buddhanussati — reflection on the qualities of the Buddha.
Dhammanussati — reflection on the qualities of the Dhamma.
Sanghanussati — reflection on the qualities of the Sangha.
silanussati — reflection on one's own morality.
caganussati — reflection on one's own generosity and giving.
devatanussati — reflecting on such qualities as giving, morality and meditation, which cause human beings to become celestial beings.

Any one of these six subjects can be practiced depending on one's preference. But it is generally agreed that not only these six should be practiced, because if that were the case then those people skilled in vipassana could not do insight meditation, since these six meditation subjects are classified as samatha meditation only.

Therefore, in the ariya-uposatha, samatha and vipassana should also be practiced, thus not making it difficult for those who are samatha-yanika (practitioners of calmness meditation) and vipassana-yanika (practitioners of insight meditation). In brief, this means that one is benefiting oneself at the time of observing (Uposatha) by practicing kammatthana. This is called ariya-uposatha.

Conditions Breaking the precepts

One considered as broken the 1st precept (no killing) when this 5 factors is present:
pano — presence of a living being.
panasaññita — one knows that it is a living being.
vadhacittam — the intention to kill.
upakkamo — the effort to kill.
tena maranam — the resulting death of that being.

One considered as broken the 2nd precept (no stealing) when this 5 factors is present:
para-parigga-hitam — article(s) with a concerned owner.
para-parigga-hita-saññita — one knows there is a concerned owner.
theyya-cittam — the intention to steal.
upakkamo — the effort to steal.
tena haranam — the article(s) is (are) stolen through that effort.

The commentaries to the Brahmajala-sutta and the Kangkha-vitarani cite two factors for the third precept, One considered as broken the 3rd precept (no sexual conduct) when this 2 factors is present: :
sevanacittam — the intention to have sexual intercourse.
maggena maggap-pati-padanam — sexual contact through any one of the 'paths' (i.e., genitals, anus or mouth).

The commentary to the Khuddakapatha gives four factors for the third precept,One considered as broken the 3rd precept (no sexual conduct) when this 5 factors is present: :
ajjha-caraniya-vatthu — the bases or paths for wrong conduct.
tattha sevanacittam — the intention to have sexual intercourse through any of the above ajjha-caraniya-vatthu.
sevanap-payogo — the effort at sexual intercourse.
sadiyanam — being pleased .

The 3rd precepts in the 8 precepts is slightly different from the 5 precepts.
In the 8 precepts is abrahmacariya veramani (no sexual conduct) as conpared to Kamesu micchacara veramani (no sexual misconduct), sex is allowed for ones husband/wife only in the 5 precepts, meaning it is to avoid adultry.


One considered as broken the 4th precept (no stealing) when this 4 factors is present:
atatham-vatthu — a falsehood.
visam-vadana-cittam — the intention to speak a falsehood.
tajjo vayamo — the effort is made.
parassa ta-dattha-vijananam — others understand what was said.

One considered as broken the 5th precept (no intoxicant) when this 4 factors is present:
mada-niyam — intoxicants.
patu-kamyata-cittam — the desire to drink.
tajjo vayamo — the effort is made.
pitappa-vesanam — the intoxicants being drunk passing the throat.

One considered as broken the 6th precept (no meals after noon) when this 4 factors is present:
vikalo — the time from noon until dawn of the next day.
yava-kalikam — foodstuffs or that which is considered to be food.
ajjho-haranap-payogo — the effort to eat.
tena ajjho-haranam — the swallowing of that food through that effort.

The seventh precept must be examined in two parts.
Part one: to refrain from dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and watching entertainments, which are impediments to wholesome mental states. One considered as broken the 7th precept when this 3 factors is present:
nacca-dini — entertainments such as singing, dancing, etc.
dassanat-thaya gamanam — going to see or listen.
dassanam — watching or listening.

Part two: to refrain from ornaments. One considered as broken the 7th precept when this 3 factors is present:
maladinam añña-tarata — ornaments to bedeck the body, consisting of flowers, perfumes, etc.
anuñña-takarana bhavo — except in a time of illness the Buddha does not allow the use of such substances.
alankata bhavo — using ornaments with the intention of beautifying the body.

One considered as broken the 8th precept (no high seats or bed) when this 3 factors is present:
ucca-sayana maha-sayanam — a high or large bed.
ucca-sayana maha-sayana-saññita — one is aware that it is a high or large bed.
abhi-nisidanam va abhi-nipajjanam va — to sit or lie down on that bed.

Uposatha Sutta

Thus have I heard:

At one time the Blessed One was residing in Jetavana, the monastery of Anathapindika, near Savatthi. At that time the Blessed One, having called all the bhikkhus together, addressed them thus: "Bhikkhus!" The bhikkhus answered in assent: "Lord!" (The bhikkhus then prepared themselves for the following teaching.) The Blessed One then gave the following teaching on Uposatha.

"Bhikkhus. Uposatha is comprised of eight factors which the Ariyan disciple observes, the observation of which brings glorious and radiant fruit and benefit. "Bhikkhus. What is the Uposatha which, observed by the Ariyan disciples, brings glorious and radiant fruit and benefit?"

1. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up the intentional taking of life (panatipata). The club and sword have been laid down. They have shame (of doing evil) and are compassionate towards all beings.'

"All of you have given up the intentional taking of life, have put down all weapons, are possessed of shame (of doing evil) and are compassionate towards all beings. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the first factor of the Uposatha."

2. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up taking what has not been given (adinnadana). They take only what is given, are intent on taking only what is given. They are not thieves. Their behavior is spotless.'

"All of you have given up the taking of what has not been given, are ones who do not take what is not given, are intent on taking only what is given, are not thieves. Your behavior is spotless. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the second factor of the Uposatha."

3. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up that which is an obstacle to the Brahma-faring (abrahma-cariya). Their practice is like that of a Brahma. They are far from sexual intercourse, which is a practice of lay people.'

"All of you have given up that which is an obstacle to the Brahma-faring and behave like a Brahma. Your behavior is far from sexual intercourse. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the third factor of the Uposatha."

4. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up the telling of lies (musavada).They utter only the truth and are intent on the truth. Their speech is firm and is composed of reason. Their speech does not waver from that which is a mainstay for the world.'

"All of you have given up the telling of lies. You speak only the truth and are intent only on that which is true. Your speech is firm and with reason. Your speech does not waver from that which is a mainstay for the world. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the fourth factor of the Uposatha."

5. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up the taking of liquors and intoxicants (sura-meraya-majja-pamadatthana), of that which intoxicates, causing carelessness. They are far from intoxicants.'

"All of you have given up the taking of liquors and intoxicants. You abstain from drink which causes carelessness. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the fifth factor of the Uposatha."
6. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, eat at one time only and do not partake of food in the evening. They abstain from food at the 'wrong time' (vikala bhojana).'

"All of you eat at one time only and do not partake of food in the evening. You abstain from food at the 'wrong time.' For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the sixth factor of the Uposatha."

7. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up singing and dancing, the playing of musical instruments and the watching of entertainments, which are stumbling blocks to that which is wholesome. Nor do they bedeck themselves with ornaments, flowers or perfume.'

"All of you have given up singing and dancing, the playing of musical instruments and the watching of entertainments, which are stumbling blocks to that which is wholesome. You do not bedeck yourselves with ornaments, flowers or perfume. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the seventh factor of the Uposatha."

8. "Bhikkhus. Ariyan disciples in this Religion reflect thus:

"'All arahants, for as long as life lasts, have given up lying on large or high beds. They are content with low beds or bedding made of grass.'

"All of you have given up lying on large or high beds. You are content with low beds or beds made of grass. For all of this day and night, in this manner, you will be known as having followed the arahants, and the Uposatha will have been observed by you. This is the eighth factor of the Uposatha."

"Bhikkhus. The Uposatha is comprised of these eight factors which the Ariyan disciple observes, and it is of great and glorious fruit and benefit."

Thus the Blessed One spoke on the Uposatha. The bhikkhus were delighted and rejoiced at his words.

The Wise

"Loss and gain, obscurity and fame,
Praise and blame, happiness and pain.
These things are transient in the life of man,
inconstant and are bound to change.
The mindful and wise one decerns them well
and is observant of their constant change.
Things pleasent do not stir in his mind
and those unpleasent do not irritate.
All like and dislikes are dispensed by him;
have come to an end and are no more.
Aware now of a stainless, griefless state;
Beyond existence gone, he fully knows."

"A mind that, when touch by the ways of the world,
is unshaken, sorrowless, dustless, secure:
this is the highest blessing"

- Buddha -

Eight Precepts on full moon day(uposatha)

I am taking the eight precepts on this very full moon day.Uposatha days are times of renewed dedication to Dhamma practice, observed by lay followers and monastics throughout the world of Theravada Buddhism.

Lay people observe the Eight Precepts on Uposatha days, as a support for meditation practice and as a way to re-energize commitment to the Dhamma. Whenever possible, lay people use these days as an opportunity to visit the local monastery, in order to make special offerings to the Sangha, to listen to Dhamma, and to practice meditation with Dhamma companions late into the night. For those not closely affiliated with a local monastery, it can simply be an opportunity to step up one's efforts in meditation, while drawing on the invisible support of millions of other practicing Buddhists around the world.

The benefits are the exact opposite of the evils we forgo. That is to say, however many unskillful or iniquitous actions we are able to relinquish, each will be an additional benefit for us. Also, keeping the Uposatha will serve as a base for deeper grades of concentration and wisdom.

The precepts are:

Not to kill.
Not to steal.
Not to engage in sexual intercourse.
Not to speak lies.
Not to take intoxicants.
Not to eat food between noon and the following dawn.
Not to sing, dance or watch entertainments, and not to use ornaments, cosmetics or perfumes.
Not to sit or lie on a large or high seat or bed.

This creats a suitable condition for meditation practise.
Thus i dedicate this merit of abiding to the precept and effort to cultivate. I wish all my parents, friends, people who i have seen or not seen, beings with 5/4/1 aggregates, May they share in my merit and may they be well and happy, healthy and safe.

- Dhamma is for practising than believing and disscusing -

中秋月圆人团圆

啊~！明天晚上就是八月十五中秋节了。本来是个好日子可以和亲朋好友聚一聚的，真可惜。Jonathon 本来想要叫大家一起出门的。中秋节嘛，是个聚会的好机会，可是现在的人似乎没有这种概念。难能可贵啊，朋友聚会，多开心的事情。我一听见 Jon 的消息我就整个人高兴起来。因为我很珍惜这般朋友。可是。。。爱~！一个两个叫不动的。有时很难不让我有这种概念，到底友情对他们来说是什么？

对彼此的关心到哪里去了呢？有些人只会为自己着想，朋友就像工具一样，用完就丢。我相信，当一个体会到万缘可贵，彼此可以相识，不管是什么关系，都很难得的呀~！大多数的都不懂得珍惜。

当我又想起，孔子所说的，“君子之交，淡如水”就觉得很有道理。真正的友谊就应该如此，平时不必常往来，一到急难一定出手相助。淡水也能说是纯洁的感情，没有利用，没有背叛，没有欺凌，没有阴谋。

谁是真正的朋友呢？我相信他们还是，所以我更加珍惜与他们的时间。人生无常，死去的老师已经亲身演示了。我们随时将会死去，这是永恒的道理。我不知道明天我还是否活着，说不定的。海啸罹难的人会想到这是他们最后一次看见杨光了吗?在旅行的旅客会想到他们会死在异乡吗？我希望，当我面临死亡时候，心中不会有后悔，不会后悔没有好好和父母兄弟，和朋友在一起。

"One who makes friends only to cheat them,
one who is good only in word,
one who flatters & cajoles,
and a companion in ruinous fun:
These four the wise know as non-friends.
Avoid them from afar,
like a dangerous road.

A friend who is helpful,
one who shares in your sorrows & joys,
one who points you to worthwhile things,
one sympathetic to friends:
These four, the wise know as true friends.
Attend to them earnestly,
as a mother her child." - Buddha - excerpt from sigalovada sutta

Carry on...

Arh, well...i am late for my submission again...
No energy to carry on... its very very demoralising. Changing a habit really need lots of effort.

Glad that i hear lect. li may is concerned about her students cos most poly lect hardly really care about their students i think... she said,"I heartbreak to see you all late you know." that was encouraging. this is the part i dun understand, I could have all the energy as long i knw there is someone really cares about me and i would have the energy to do anything for them. Just beacuse i don't want people who care about my stuffs to feel sad.

Hmm... dunno, i am concern whether they are happy or not. I would wish my friends well and happy. When i see or hear that they have some unpleasent incidents or happenings, i would always look something for them to hope that it can help and cause them to be more happy, more smooth in their journey our somethings which they might need and which i will wait until their birthdays.

Can't explain, but i feel very happy to see them well, very happy to get things which is/might be able to help them. For the one i love in terms of relationship, i wouldn't bother whether she is happy or not but i would always get things which can benefit, can bring her good luck, safety or somethings which she would possiblily like or somethings she need. I have gotten somethings for her but i had to keep them till the day comes...

Venerable zheng yan had said,"甘愿做，欢喜受" true enough...
well i think sometimes i helped till i am burned out lyk previous case. but soon i will recover and carry on... What keeps me moving is inspiration and aspiration. Each time i over comes one bruned out, my aspiration grows larger and stronger and firm.

well...long time never play com games le... haha

好烦~！

I can't take it any longer. There is too much problems for me to handle. Why am i always the one being responsible to handle all this problems??? Why am i always the one sacrificing myself? The society is not owned by me, when ever i need help people will always say i got school work, got project, got assignment. I also have my school work to do as well~! To fullfill their wish to finish their assignments, I had sacrifice most of my time in doing the stuffs in the club. How long do u all want me to carry on?

I also wish to finish my assignment. My work is much different then others. Mine is architecture. I need to squeeze my brains for design. This needs the most time and i got the least time... ending up i always spend alot more longer time on designing...and ending up late. Yes it is time management problem, but if i got to stop and move on...i will produce something really very lousy.

When things go wrong, my fault, my responsibility. People like to give feedback, wanted to improve. Did they really spend time investigating whats wrong in the society in the first place? Make things easier for me can or not. Please~! I need fresh air as well. Can people help me and lets achieve the ultimate goal together than to trying to put in your ideas and what u desired to have into my plans or not???

I really really wish to spend more time with my group of friends... I really wanted to walk together to the MRT station together with them even we go different directions. I have been going to BS almost everyday after school immeditately. I know the feeling when you need help and others refused, thats why i try my best to give people what they want. Who is there for me? People wanted to finish their acadamic with great results. I want that too. Because you all wanted to do well in studies and therefore BS is always put last. I don't want to force anyone, i don't want the society to fall as well, and thats why i hav been sacrficing alot to serve, finish up things as good as poosible. I want to have great results for my studies as well, but i am too tired to think anymore. Its not the physical is tired, is mentally tired.

Even now i still wouldn't bear to let go, cause no one will be free to finish all those things in it, no one will be running. I don't mind helping, but can anyone do something for me as well? Can someone help me as well?

I wish to accomplish my studies well, I wish to spread the dhamma for the benefits of all beings as well. Can I be allowed to do that? Can?

I am not that sort of irresponsible and selfish people, I can never really bare to let go of BS duities. Because, everytime I thought of letting hands off, I couldn't, because i knew the feeling when nobody is there for you when u need help, i knew that the dhamma is very precious and beneficial. Therefore, i couldn't.

When i am so miserable and upset, my mums adds on rather than to solve the problem. Arggh~! I am really feeling very miserable... No one can see my tears, no one has seen my sweat... And all i got in return is "You are too extreme in Dhamma", "You don't know how to delegate jobs", "You need to do something to your paitence", "Your temper is really bad"...and more.

Anyone has really understood the situation in BS until that one has confident to say, "I know whats the problem in BS","I know How BS should move in the future".
If you see things full already, you will understand why am i so agitated to some comments, why am i so upset...

I pleaded, the compassionate Buddha. I really can't take it anymore, can you show me a way to move on......

Failure~

夫以懈怠而患之~！夫以懈怠而患之~！I allow myself to relax and end up need to pospone my presentation. How can i do that? ...I have totally lost myself into no where in the world. All around me is fun, enjoy and laziness. Where is my dignity of life? My sense of effort to acomplish task which i should complete?

I brought all this for myself. I am drained up. My spirit is dead. I have to find my fighting spirit back, if not i would have alot of modules to repeat. What is wrong with me? Why am i like that? I really don't know.

hmm...My work progress seems to be pretty slow... Everyone was chionging every night.I was the only one chionging to sleep every night. Why did i become like this?
Since when am i so lazy, where is my sense of a 君子？

Xinhao, Everyone is worried about you~!(Maybe) Buck up~! Start Working on your plans and Autoviz le... Later late again. Are you a 君子 or a failure? Always late. Always sleep. Buddha say right effort rite? Where is you effort? You expect anyone to like a person like this? a Failure? Don't even say what relationship and stuffs le, friends like this are scary enough. Boy~! wake up! Chiong! Gather your 天地正气 and Chiong~! Be awake! Be alert! Be mindful! 正气~！争气~！君子啊~！夫以懈怠而患之。

New song liao~ hehe from another RPG under same company as 轩辕剑, "仙剑奇侠传"。under DOMO group of Softstar comapny.This game touches my the most. I played it 6 years ago, and i could still recall those moments. Now it had been flimed into a T.V. serial show le. Very popular in china and taiwan. I've watched it already, very nice and touching, when u watch le some parts of the show is very close to those circumstances we met in our lives plus very touching storylines which people would want to fall into, and its philosophy of love is very high standard. Though some "仙剑"迷 complained the storyline never follow the game de(see how good is the storylin of the game).But i find both good. Cos both brings my the essence of true love bettween the 3 characters.

It touches alot of ppl. Many people are doing short clips to commemorate the game 10th anniversary + the show, and it was dedicated to all "仙剑"players(including me).See the touch to the people? Thats the power of Chinese RPG game. Muz knw how to choose game. 轩辕剑 and 仙剑奇侠传, Best. Thanks to Yang fan. My sec sch friend. He intro me de. hahaz~! anyway, the song was named "仙剑问情"。cannot say very nice song, But still not bad..haha...frm 仙剑3。the Lyrics is meaningful, Suit the atmosphere for me... 珍惜万缘，相逢相识难能可贵。。。父母兄弟，亲戚师长，朋友恋人等。。。

仙剑奇侠传三外传:问情篇-主题曲：仙剑问情

细雨飘,清风摇,凭借痴心般情长;
皓雪落,黄河浊,任由他绝情心伤;
放下吧,手中剑,我情愿;
唤回了,心底情,宿命荆

为何要,孤独绕,你在世界另一边;
对我的深情,怎能用只字片语,写得经…
写得尽,不贪求一个愿;

又想起,你的脸,朝朝暮暮,漫漫人生路;
时时刻刻,看到你的眼眸里,柔情似水;
今生缘,来世再续,情何物,生死相许;
如有你相伴,不羡鸳鸯不羡仙……

情天动,青山中,阵风瞬息万里云;
寻佳人,情难真,御剑踏破乱红尘;
翱翔那,苍穹中,心不尽;
纵横在,千年间,轮回转.

为何让,寂寞长,我在世界这一边;
对你的思念,怎能用千言万语,说的清……
说的清,只奢望一次醉;

又想起,你的脸,寻寻觅觅,相逢在梦里;
时时刻刻,看到你的眼眸里,缱绻万千;
今生缘,来世再续,情何物,生死相许;
如有你相伴,不羡鸳鸯不羡仙……

生命、缘分=无价

今天接到ang moh kio CC 大来的电话。说笛子课的陈老师过世了。我的天啊~！这怎么可能？前几天看老师好好的，怎么说走就走。。。太令人感到意外了。

虽然，我只是上了两堂课。他也没教什么。可是他却让我学习到，真正体会到人生无常。佛陀说的很好，他说，“Life is uncertain, But Death is certain.”(Boh Bian, 我的佛学知识大部分来至英语)
我最近领悟到佛法的真谛，佛法是：Sanditthiko(Self-realised),Akaliko(Timeless),Ehipassiko(For one to come and see),Opanayiko(Leading onward),Paccattam veditabbo vinnuhiti(To be known individually by the wise).这段经文肯定了我的看法。佛教、佛陀的法不是让我们去相信的，而是去修，去体会的真理。看见真正的事实，超越无明，烦恼也就随风而散，最终涅盘。Buddhism is not to be Believed, But to be practised and seen individually by one.

起初，我自称明白，“Life is uncertain, But Death is certain.”这句话。我错了，我当时只是明白这些字的含义，只是相信，还未体会，还未觉悟到，现在，我真得明白了。彻底明白了。读万卷经书敌不过亲身体悟。

没有人可以决定要活多久。时辰一到，眨眼就去。我深深的体会到生命的可贵，人与人的缘分，那种可遇不可求的相遇，认识，甚至到一切万物的生命。非常可贵，这些不是物质上的东西可以取代的。

接到电话后。我看一看周围的朋友。都在全神贯注的干功课。心里只有"Pia drawing~!" 似乎忘了身边的人，脑筋里只有成绩，前途，未来。我问我自己。有成绩，有前途，没有身边的人们，没有感情，真的还会有美好的未来吗？当人们都活在自己的世界里，都含有这一份自私，日子好过吗？你争我夺，明争暗斗。每一个人都渴望一份关心于温暖。自私自利的生活不可能有美好未来。

真正珍惜周围的事物、生命于缘分的人，到底还存在吗? 有多少时间留意到身边的人与事？身边的亲人和朋友呢？生命就在呼吸之中。没了呼吸必死无疑。那么的珍贵，有谁注意到自己的一呼一息呢？

我会珍惜一切，珍惜万物，珍惜万缘。每一个细节都构成我的生命。少了你，我的人生就不完整了。珍惜周围的人，珍惜缘分。万般轮回可以相遇实在难得。我深怕随时就会死亡，身边的人都会离去，说不定的。我要答应自己，珍惜所拥有的一切。

我心中有一个大愿。愿我早日证果，破除世间对佛法的误解，冒牌佛教。为众生打开离苦大道~
在我还执有凡夫见时，我希望能把快乐带给人们。珍惜我的所有人，所有生命。

非常感恩~陈老师，你叫我的胜过笛子。我的成就是你的功劳，我把这份无量功德回响于你、以至虚空法界。

"莫在空谈争论经意，三藏贯通是放屁。务实修持世尊教法，体悟觉悟见性即得。" -献给佛道中人-
“难得千世相逢，万缘可贵。你我相识不宜，愿彼此珍惜珍重”-献给我的朋友、亲戚、一切众生-

Finally I found out the way to put music into the Background~~~!!!
My first background music for my blog is "无理头时间". It comes from one of my favourite RPG games "轩辕剑肆"(Who say i never play games...)

Check out this -> Article by Richard Ho : http://ourstory.asia1.com.sg/neatstuff/places/concrete.html

See how he comment about the buildings in SIngapore.

My trip to NUS open house, School of DE, Department of Architecture

OOO~ today i when to a open house at NUS, department of architecture. Intresting, I've learned alot from the trip, especially from that talk by an alumni/architect for 20+ years, Richard Ho. "architects are artist....Architecture is an art... But it is different from Fine arts.... you can choose to ignore fine arts but not architecture..... architects should design for the people than to design for our own ego" as we shape the life of people who lived under our design. Architects hold great social responsibility. His greatest fufillment was not the pay, it is that kind of feeling when your client comes to you and say,"Hey thanks! I didn't expect it to be so good."

BTW, studying in NUS is much worthwhile than in other countries. I always thought University of Melborn is where i wanted to pursue my studies as i could complete my course in 3 years. But now i see the works of the students, the fees and some adaptability pro & cons, i still feel NUS is better than in australia for my case. I could learn the skill and achieve great standards here as well. Financially better, no need to adapt to other country life style. I don't need to leave home. So nice. But the standards in NUS is fantastic. Looking at the models and panels i was so inspired to walk on. Really, Architecture teaches me More than building. It is a way of appreciating culture, history and art. It talks about design, environment, lifestyle. Very poetic, Very artistic, Very very meaningful...

Well, i went with Jonathon and David and some other poly people. We learned much.
-Aiyoh~！You all missed the show la- <- to: hong zhi, Yan ching, Zhi ling, Jaclyn, Ian. Haha...

But i have been observing myself. I think i should work more on the attitude towards people and my mouth. Bad kamma, I say lots of unwholesome things, Create alot of unwholesome thoughts to people i dislike, Slander people, talk behind peoples back. Do unwholesome actions "LATE"... Created so much bad kamma....cham...Remorseful... Now I should keep more closely to my practice...