世间有太多失望

失望的事情太多。
不能控制的事情太多。
泪水太多。

手牵手，一起走的精神在哪里？
伸出疲倦的手，幸好一路上有人搀扶。。。

但却不完美。
因为40 council的结局是一场悲剧。
它没有感情，
也没有温暖，
更没有团结精神。

真不希望带着遗憾告别，
收场是美丽的拥抱，
真诚的友谊，一起走下去的精神。
该有多好。

41 是不会和 40 一样。
因为40的每一个成员，
是同年，同一批，
一起走过的。

It was painful, but I have heal myself

[ Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis,where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,
"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied,
"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." ]

I left the ADRC alone. Where has everyone gone to? I thought I still have someone by my side, concerned about me even though most of them were in pairs. It seems that I was wrong...

I felt the air while we were walking together. Because I can no longer feel anything. No warmth, no heart, no feeling of that togetherness. I am alone.

All along, feelings are just momentary. It is hard, but I know I can't be wrong if I maintain myself right.

I shouldn't mind about how I was hurt, forget about how I felt. I should never hurt.
Knowing that it is painful, I shouldn't do it.
Always love and care despite anything hurting they have done. I should maintain a heart ever pure and right.

I am always there for my 8 friends. I will learn not to depend on anyone for happiness and warmth, I have to achieve the state of "no need for care and concern" so that I can be strong enough to be dependable for others.

Learn from the trees, who offered shelther to anyone who comes by without difference. Even it was chopped, it is ever beneficial. This is a teaching to me.

This was the first time ever since I found myself in the group, I felt I am dropped out totally. I left alone. Walking alone, dragging the injured feelings, a bunch of friends were singing loudly while they walked together...

当我们同在一起，在一起，在一起...
当我们同在一起时快乐无比，
我对着你笑嘻嘻，
你对着我笑哈哈，
当我们同在一起时快乐无比...

Maybe I am a person too deep to be understood.
Maybe I am someone who is too good in hiding feelings... to the extend,
no one truely know how I felt, how am I doing...
No one can never know how sensitive I can be...

I treat what was said by others seriously,
never try to fool me by saying it's a joke.
The knowledge I knew about mind enables me to know,
some kind of jokes would be said,
only if the object gives the mind that particular impression.
Whatever was told, is a reflection of impressions I gave to others.

... But I lack the ability to differenciate jokes and facts... So I treat everything true...

Takes time to perfect myself.

Unbias heart

How to see things without any biasness???

All I knew is to do it with a pure heart free from ideas. Now listening to the music, I can truly appreciate them as what it is.

Recalling previously, I passed some flowers to William and decided to let him do the offerings and decorations. When I came into the clubhouse, Wow... First thought, Who did this??
So nice... The flowers are well arranged and mixed. Especially the flower petals. Leaves from the flower are plucked and made into a cushion and the petals are put on it.

Later I found out it was william. Wonderful, I didn't expect he can be good in such. Isn't that the heart of appreciation? I can feel the initiatives and kind intention, the energy was oozing out from the flowers. I believe he must have put in lots of thoughts in decorating the room.

But it would be funny when the heart is filled with biasness, it choose what it prefers, rather than what it is in its own quality of wholesome and unwholesome. The heart is masked with defilement of self, so heavy, so thick, probably didn't notice it. When opposes comes, it is seen as biasness...LOL...

Preparation is the Key to Success

I was stammering and fustrated when I was running through the slides during the afternoon at the studio with my group. Despite the lousy english and pronouciation, I didn't even sure what words am I going to use to bring my meanings across. Many important points which had once came acroos my mind is all gone. Empty. Emptiness~!

Now preparing the points for my slides, I came up with some many good points for presentation. Now I am clear what am I going to say and how am i going to say it.

At many times we felt that we are confident and we went up unprepared. Facing the crowds, without any plannings, we fail to bring things across fully. The most confident presenter are those which came up without a script as they know their stuffs well, but even for them, they do plan before presentation, just that everything is up in the mind. Just like my tea presentation... LOL...

Preparation is the Key to Success... Indeed...

是这样吗？

我该留意我所说的，
我该留意我所作的，
我该留意我所想的。

真正的明白，是当我已经做到的时候。
还没做到不算明白。因为前者与后者是完全不一样的。
我能说尽一切的比喻，也不能令任何人明白。
唯有明白的人才会明白。

只有真正行动，才能使一个人彻底了解。
是真正的行为，真正的心念。

突破就在行动，什么时候开始，就在什么时候行动。
往往因为执持我见，迟迟不动。

因为这样，常常伤害到别人。知道伤害别人了，心中有一种后悔。
它就是“戒”。

我要努力啊。。。

要到几时才明白？

似乎有一条路在等着我。
一天，只要一天。。。真的吗？我决定试一试。
开始明白“相”是假的。由相而生的种种也是虚幻。如果能够突破“造作”，现在所生起的一切“想”将会消失，不再迷惑，不再有苦。

只要还困现实与虚幻，我就无法真正明白，真正突破迷惑。。。