In the rains of defilments, I lost my umbrella of mindfulness.
Failing to cleanse the mind thoroughly, I am defiled and unrest.
Thanks to the conversation, Wesley had gave an reminder.
I've found my umbrella once again...
Wet by defilements, Soon will be dried.
Unrest shall come to peace.
With the umbrella of Mindfulness,
Unaffected by defilements.
"I am under heavy rain of delusion.
The umbrella is mindfulness,
preventing me from getting into the rain and get wet.
Unaffected yet I see the rain clearly."
This, what I have gain,
Should be remembered
for my own benefit
as well as for others.
Dhammanu Dhamma patipanno...
Dhammanu Dhamma patipanno...
"I find delight in solitude,
as I finds delight in subduing the mind. "
Peace and happiness,
heart at ease,
to be found
Only when the mind is subdued.
I seek refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.
The Buddha is my foremost refuge,
My only teacher, which his instructions I follow.
Whatever other teacher there may be other than the Buddha,
Is a noble friend, able to guide me along the noble path we walk.
My teacher taught:
"Be islands unto yourselves, refuges unto yourselves, seeking no external refuge;
with the Dhamma as your island, the Dhamma as your refuge, seeking no other refuge."
Following closely to that,
I find myself hard to be misguided.
As far as I held my umbrella,
the rain shall never penetrate,
till ceasation is found,
where I've disappeared with my umbrella
in the mist of rain.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Reflections on a Loo
Earth and water elements inside
press to get out,
all that solid food, and drink
ingested, must be in time extruded.
No polished "sanitary ware" adorns my forest loo
all natural
a wooden platform raised upon a pit.
Where I walk up and down
pacing steadily to still the mad mind,
at the end surrounded by trees —
my lovely loo.
Trees with asbestos sheeting broken up
nailed to the trunks — for privacy,
where only trees can watch
bored — but nourished — by this necessity.
To climb up to my toilet
six feet up swaying with the trunks
of trees, two logs are driven in the ground
as steps up to the throne.
A platform with a hole
through which one can look down
ten feet to the papered pit below
and watch the great black dung-
beetles at work burying the mess,
hygienic from our point of view
but what a birth to get,
perhaps for perverters and pornographers?
Anyway, I squat lordly far above
while water and earth elements within
join water and earth elements without.
when within I call them "mine";
when in the pit they're not me —
where does the change take place?
Strange mind which loves this stinking form
But loathes the stink down there.
Rejoicing in fine flavors,
Detesting stench and excrement:
"I" am made up of all this
rejoicing and detesting.
— 'Pansa' (Vassa, the Rains) 2515/1972
press to get out,
all that solid food, and drink
ingested, must be in time extruded.
No polished "sanitary ware" adorns my forest loo
all natural
a wooden platform raised upon a pit.
Where I walk up and down
pacing steadily to still the mad mind,
at the end surrounded by trees —
my lovely loo.
Trees with asbestos sheeting broken up
nailed to the trunks — for privacy,
where only trees can watch
bored — but nourished — by this necessity.
To climb up to my toilet
six feet up swaying with the trunks
of trees, two logs are driven in the ground
as steps up to the throne.
A platform with a hole
through which one can look down
ten feet to the papered pit below
and watch the great black dung-
beetles at work burying the mess,
hygienic from our point of view
but what a birth to get,
perhaps for perverters and pornographers?
Anyway, I squat lordly far above
while water and earth elements within
join water and earth elements without.
when within I call them "mine";
when in the pit they're not me —
where does the change take place?
Strange mind which loves this stinking form
But loathes the stink down there.
Rejoicing in fine flavors,
Detesting stench and excrement:
"I" am made up of all this
rejoicing and detesting.
— 'Pansa' (Vassa, the Rains) 2515/1972
What an intresting poem by the forest monk reflecting on the truth of life. True Buddhism, such realistic and intresting teaching, yet people choose to unreveal it but follow the crowds in delusions, hoping that they would see light by following the deluded.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
The Wise remained silent to the Ignorant
This Dhamma that I have attained is deep, hard to see, hard to realize, peaceful, refined, beyond the scope of conjecture, subtle, to-be-experienced by the wise.
But this generation delights in attachment, is excited by attachment, enjoys attachment. For a generation delighting in attachment, excited by attachment, enjoying attachment, this/that conditionality & dependent co-arising are hard to see. This state, too, is hard to see: the resolution of all fabrications, the relinquishment of all acquisitions, the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.
And if I were to teach the Dhamma and others would not understand me, that would be tiresome for me, troublesome for me.
Just then these verses, unspoken in the past, unheard before, occurred to me:
Enough now with teaching
what
only with difficulty
I reached.
This Dhamma is not easily realized
by those overcome
with aversion & passion.
What is abstruse, subtle,
deep,
hard to see,
going against the flow —
those delighting in passion,
cloaked in the mass of darkness,
won't see'
In this world, there are beings with little dust in their eyes and those with much, those with keen faculties and those with dull, those with good attributes and those with bad, those easy to teach and those hard, some of them seeing disgrace & danger in the other world.
Having seen this, I answered Brahma Sahampati in verse:
'Open are the doors to the Deathless
to those with ears.
Let them show their conviction.
Perceiving trouble, O Brahma,
I did not tell people
the refined,
sublime Dhamma.'
Towards him, when the wise is silent about the truth, does not regard one as being worth speaking to or admonishing, he is defeated, totally destroyed.
I am once a ignorant person, but there will be a time, I began to understand.
Simply, speak the right thing to the the right person saves trouble and time to benefit more people who are able to be benefited.
Yet, one must know, there is no one who is forever bad, forever sinned, forever ignorant.
But this generation delights in attachment, is excited by attachment, enjoys attachment. For a generation delighting in attachment, excited by attachment, enjoying attachment, this/that conditionality & dependent co-arising are hard to see. This state, too, is hard to see: the resolution of all fabrications, the relinquishment of all acquisitions, the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.
And if I were to teach the Dhamma and others would not understand me, that would be tiresome for me, troublesome for me.
Just then these verses, unspoken in the past, unheard before, occurred to me:
Enough now with teaching
what
only with difficulty
I reached.
This Dhamma is not easily realized
by those overcome
with aversion & passion.
What is abstruse, subtle,
deep,
hard to see,
going against the flow —
those delighting in passion,
cloaked in the mass of darkness,
won't see'
In this world, there are beings with little dust in their eyes and those with much, those with keen faculties and those with dull, those with good attributes and those with bad, those easy to teach and those hard, some of them seeing disgrace & danger in the other world.
Having seen this, I answered Brahma Sahampati in verse:
'Open are the doors to the Deathless
to those with ears.
Let them show their conviction.
Perceiving trouble, O Brahma,
I did not tell people
the refined,
sublime Dhamma.'
Towards him, when the wise is silent about the truth, does not regard one as being worth speaking to or admonishing, he is defeated, totally destroyed.
I am once a ignorant person, but there will be a time, I began to understand.
Simply, speak the right thing to the the right person saves trouble and time to benefit more people who are able to be benefited.
Yet, one must know, there is no one who is forever bad, forever sinned, forever ignorant.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
希望快点明白。。。 “原来一切，只是如此而已”
人往往被一幕幕的场景而牵动。
脑海里的影像栩栩如生,
内心的情绪也随着改变。
原来感觉是大家聚散的因缘。
感觉的改变，关系也会随着改变。
我的存在，
似乎已经不在重要，更不是需要。
纯洁的心，是我不变的承诺，
永远的关心，是我寻找一颗真正永恒的真心。
若有一天，
我的存在，能够对你们有所安慰，
我仍旧在这里，一直在这里。
到底哪颗，“无论你变得怎么样，
哪颗爱心永远不变”，在哪里？
为了要以真心对待一切，
为了那种无论如何始终无异的爱心，
我会继续我的承诺。
其实，我一直在要求着，
不在要求任何东西，
将会把一切的回忆变得虚无。
但回忆的美好，对回忆的思念，
对大家在一起的时光的怀念，
是我要求着的原因。
而我希望，
能够继续到永远。
所以你们始终占有特别位置，
愿意承担，尽量如大家的愿。
不喜欢的我来扛，有需要一定到。
虽然愿意扛的事不代表我自己喜欢这样，
也需要感觉自己也是你们不可或缺的一份。
可能往往会想到值不值得，
但对于朋友，也是一样,
没有值不值得, 只有愿不愿意。
如果能够明白，
“原来一切，只是如此而已”
回忆只是虚无的想象，
感情只是因缘的产品，
一切的事实就一目了然。
这颗心，将会安住，
永恒不变，
爱，永远不变。
但我已经开始害怕，
我是你们之间的障碍，
我在一厢情愿，多此一举。
我需要一个表示，一个答案。
脑海里的影像栩栩如生,
内心的情绪也随着改变。
原来感觉是大家聚散的因缘。
感觉的改变，关系也会随着改变。
我的存在，
似乎已经不在重要，更不是需要。
纯洁的心，是我不变的承诺，
永远的关心，是我寻找一颗真正永恒的真心。
若有一天，
我的存在，能够对你们有所安慰，
我仍旧在这里，一直在这里。
到底哪颗，“无论你变得怎么样，
哪颗爱心永远不变”，在哪里？
为了要以真心对待一切，
为了那种无论如何始终无异的爱心，
我会继续我的承诺。
其实，我一直在要求着，
不在要求任何东西，
将会把一切的回忆变得虚无。
但回忆的美好，对回忆的思念，
对大家在一起的时光的怀念，
是我要求着的原因。
而我希望，
能够继续到永远。
所以你们始终占有特别位置，
愿意承担，尽量如大家的愿。
不喜欢的我来扛，有需要一定到。
虽然愿意扛的事不代表我自己喜欢这样，
也需要感觉自己也是你们不可或缺的一份。
可能往往会想到值不值得，
但对于朋友，也是一样,
没有值不值得, 只有愿不愿意。
如果能够明白，
“原来一切，只是如此而已”
回忆只是虚无的想象，
感情只是因缘的产品，
一切的事实就一目了然。
这颗心，将会安住，
永恒不变，
爱，永远不变。
但我已经开始害怕，
我是你们之间的障碍，
我在一厢情愿，多此一举。
我需要一个表示，一个答案。
不要隐藏，
我想要知道你心里的真意。
Thursday, August 10, 2006
The first experience at the final year...
Today could be a special day for me...
Because I stayed in the studio to do my architecture work till 10pm with the lecturers.
Well, that's the first impression I got in my mind.
Out of the 2 and a half years studying in poly, I've finally taste a life of being a poly student should be. Throughout the 2 years, is a repeating treadgy of "Late" and "Fail". A straight Ds in both years.
I came to this course by accident as I was aiming for a diploma which does not require any study of maths, science and english. My passion towards architecture grew in me when I am in the first year.
Happened to be in BS, and was pretty active, until I began to take up responsibilities. Truly speaking, I am not obliged to take up those. Taking up responsibilities is nothing much, but I am taking up responsibilities of other's as well. My time and energy is drained.
In the same time, I'm having my Wushu as well, which I'm most well-versed. But later, I decided to the put down wushu for the time being, as 24 hrs was soon not enough for me after I entered the Main committee. 2 great things I've liked... Let go le.
Having done too much, I guess, often I got criticised. That's my poly life.
School work? I ended up, worrying both my work and BS. Worry about my quality of work, about meeting the dateline.
What have I been doing the most? Sleeping. What am I thinking mostly? Club. How come?
thinking about club, I can't focus into designing. I can say, I gave up designing in the end, pure straightlines, meet requirements get a pass grade thats it.
Sleeping? Thinking too much makes me tired. Plus physically doing. Club stuffs. I know nuts about management, it drains my energy even more when I do things which I don't really know.
Am I crazy or what? Why can't I just put down the club, just bother about my own job and my studies? Simply because, there is too much things to be done and no one is doing it. Even the members feel it, thats why we got another heros from the members doing things for us. What a shame on the Main Council.
Even god wouldn't understand what is designing like, whats the feeling of doing all those, so no one can understand why I am so tired. Mentally, what kind of support do I get? You call BS ppl friends and friendship huh? Ya, Criticism, that drug which strengthen me. My name is ever bad in most BS ppl, not that popular in fact, within alumni's and members:
I'm too extreme, too buddhistic, I dominate too much, talked too much, done too much, I am harsh, what I am doing is not right...
Well, I've done so much... Have you?
I'm extreme because u are at the other end, thus we need a balance.
I'm too buddhistic as attention to the Dhamma is not enough. Mind you, we are BUDDHIST SOCIETY. Are you telling me we should do christian activities?
I dominate too much simply because from one look I knew this plan wun work, and you lack experience or self-upgrading.
I talked too much because you talked too little or rather you have nothing/nothing beneficial to talk.
I done too much becos you've done not enough.
I am harsh cos you are stuborn.
What I'm doing is seem wrong because simply you have not done enough observations and understanding to the situation and conditions, thus you don't see why this should be the way.
I admire 39th President, Daniel. He devoted himself into practising, I've seen him staying back and meditate at night in clubhouse. I believed, those who put in the effort, had the heart, regardless, whether the plan's worked or not. To that, I'm truly grateful. But soon it became a hinderance to BS if the methods are wrong, and they're still sticking to it.
Why should I bare with all these? Why I continued? Simply because, I don't want to let my juniors and future membrs to experience what I've been through. I want things to go in the right track, so that the members shall learn and benefit from buddhism in a conducive place. It's really... really.. nothing about selfish gains. Because, for the benefit of them/you, it's worth to preserver and sacrifice. I can't because of my own benefit, I sacrificed others for my sake. I can never do such things, I can't do it.
41 com was my saviour. How come? Because, things are now running in the right track. My loads has been lighten. This final year, is the first time I get to experience what should. Thinking about my project, designing, looking at my drawings. This is the first time I get to made a proper model for my design! This is the first time, I know what I want to show my lecturers. This is the first time, I stayed up ...not for BS... but architecture. The first time I fianlly get the energy and strength to strive throughout the day, like other classmates, in their project.
"By fufilling our own responsibilities dutifully, we can have the time not only for ourselves, but others as well. As we all share the load together."
The battery theory: "3 batteries serving a bulb. If one is serving and the 2 is at rest, the bulb lights up but dim, and it drains alot of energy from that 1 battery. But if the other 2 share the load. the bub can be brighter, and also, the load and burden is reduced, for each and every battery, we shall have more excess energy."
Because I stayed in the studio to do my architecture work till 10pm with the lecturers.
Well, that's the first impression I got in my mind.
Out of the 2 and a half years studying in poly, I've finally taste a life of being a poly student should be. Throughout the 2 years, is a repeating treadgy of "Late" and "Fail". A straight Ds in both years.
I came to this course by accident as I was aiming for a diploma which does not require any study of maths, science and english. My passion towards architecture grew in me when I am in the first year.
Happened to be in BS, and was pretty active, until I began to take up responsibilities. Truly speaking, I am not obliged to take up those. Taking up responsibilities is nothing much, but I am taking up responsibilities of other's as well. My time and energy is drained.
In the same time, I'm having my Wushu as well, which I'm most well-versed. But later, I decided to the put down wushu for the time being, as 24 hrs was soon not enough for me after I entered the Main committee. 2 great things I've liked... Let go le.
Having done too much, I guess, often I got criticised. That's my poly life.
School work? I ended up, worrying both my work and BS. Worry about my quality of work, about meeting the dateline.
What have I been doing the most? Sleeping. What am I thinking mostly? Club. How come?
thinking about club, I can't focus into designing. I can say, I gave up designing in the end, pure straightlines, meet requirements get a pass grade thats it.
Sleeping? Thinking too much makes me tired. Plus physically doing. Club stuffs. I know nuts about management, it drains my energy even more when I do things which I don't really know.
Am I crazy or what? Why can't I just put down the club, just bother about my own job and my studies? Simply because, there is too much things to be done and no one is doing it. Even the members feel it, thats why we got another heros from the members doing things for us. What a shame on the Main Council.
Even god wouldn't understand what is designing like, whats the feeling of doing all those, so no one can understand why I am so tired. Mentally, what kind of support do I get? You call BS ppl friends and friendship huh? Ya, Criticism, that drug which strengthen me. My name is ever bad in most BS ppl, not that popular in fact, within alumni's and members:
I'm too extreme, too buddhistic, I dominate too much, talked too much, done too much, I am harsh, what I am doing is not right...
Well, I've done so much... Have you?
I'm extreme because u are at the other end, thus we need a balance.
I'm too buddhistic as attention to the Dhamma is not enough. Mind you, we are BUDDHIST SOCIETY. Are you telling me we should do christian activities?
I dominate too much simply because from one look I knew this plan wun work, and you lack experience or self-upgrading.
I talked too much because you talked too little or rather you have nothing/nothing beneficial to talk.
I done too much becos you've done not enough.
I am harsh cos you are stuborn.
What I'm doing is seem wrong because simply you have not done enough observations and understanding to the situation and conditions, thus you don't see why this should be the way.
I admire 39th President, Daniel. He devoted himself into practising, I've seen him staying back and meditate at night in clubhouse. I believed, those who put in the effort, had the heart, regardless, whether the plan's worked or not. To that, I'm truly grateful. But soon it became a hinderance to BS if the methods are wrong, and they're still sticking to it.
Why should I bare with all these? Why I continued? Simply because, I don't want to let my juniors and future membrs to experience what I've been through. I want things to go in the right track, so that the members shall learn and benefit from buddhism in a conducive place. It's really... really.. nothing about selfish gains. Because, for the benefit of them/you, it's worth to preserver and sacrifice. I can't because of my own benefit, I sacrificed others for my sake. I can never do such things, I can't do it.
41 com was my saviour. How come? Because, things are now running in the right track. My loads has been lighten. This final year, is the first time I get to experience what should. Thinking about my project, designing, looking at my drawings. This is the first time I get to made a proper model for my design! This is the first time, I know what I want to show my lecturers. This is the first time, I stayed up ...not for BS... but architecture. The first time I fianlly get the energy and strength to strive throughout the day, like other classmates, in their project.
"By fufilling our own responsibilities dutifully, we can have the time not only for ourselves, but others as well. As we all share the load together."
The battery theory: "3 batteries serving a bulb. If one is serving and the 2 is at rest, the bulb lights up but dim, and it drains alot of energy from that 1 battery. But if the other 2 share the load. the bub can be brighter, and also, the load and burden is reduced, for each and every battery, we shall have more excess energy."
Thanks... 41... You guys heed my advise... I've gain back my freedom, and what I belong.
I'm Grateful... Really...
You fufilled 1 of my goals: To end the situation of 1 bodhisattva sacrificing for all.
Now we have a group of bodhisattvas serving... = )
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