An exchange

I've met with 2 different paths, and it seems to be an exchange. If I choose path A den i'll get C but i'll lose D. If I choose path B den i'll get D but lose C.

Jaclyn said something today,"Something we should think for ourselvs." I understands what she meant, to take care of myself, don't neglect ourself.

Amazingly, I submited a design journal of only 8 pages, no presentation boards, no model, nthing, while others had panels, well done models, thick thick journals, and yet the lecturers still seat down and listen to my presentation...with nothing literally. Of course, in the end very jialat la, mdm. chan said something,"Do you think you should get a diploma with what you have done?" I know the answer and replied "no, its not good enough." But what stikes me was Mr.Chu's words, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well"

I end with a "thank you" everytime, because, I really thank them, for listening to my presentation while I've nthing up there.

Remembering the 10 paramis, they are in sequence for a purpose, some might not know. What comes after nekkhamma parami is panna parami and viriya parami. After renoucing is wisdom and energy. Letting go is not equivilant to "nevermind", "heck care", but ending of craving, clinging or attachment. Energy is to support so that one will not slack after letting go. I had made a mistake.

Although, I've choose the path to benefit others than myself, it is unskillfully done. Why BS above my work? Because if BS is well done, it will benefits all the members to learn dhamma and find the path to happiness. The Dhamma is so wonderful that it is worth serving it, so that others can really know the Buddha Dhamma.
My dear lecturers and friends had asked,"what happened to you?" But I can't answer because they don't understand what is Dhamma, and people will think that its just a believe, just faith, just a religion and I had to remain silent so many times. Some might think I said the above out of faith and believe also...

In the result of that, school work was very neglected. This is the mistake.

When Mr Chu said, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well" then I finally realise what have went wrong. Now that I understand, when I had a priority, doesn't mean "which one should I neglect more", but "which one should I work harder for." I treated BS work seriously but I neglected school work. Without that "seriousness" there is no motivational factor to drive while doing my projects, cause I "let go" mah. I always think, "Do for other, do for other, don't be selfish". I should have let go both and treated both seriously.

Sitting there, watching the other's present, I've been thinking through all this. 'Ya, treating both seriously' putting both of them equally important. When met with cases that I have to choose between sch and BS, the priority of the work is not for us to judge 'which one should I forgo' but thinking 'how to compromise both tasks with whatever I can.' and this is skillfulnes. This is how wisdom comes before effort.

Although I might have to retain this year, really le, but I'm feeling happy now because what I've learnt is much precious above grades, its a precious experience that I can share with the next batch, with friends. Thanks to Mr Chu because, if he have not said that, I might not even learn anything out of all these efforts.

A 10 parami poem:

I should always give, (Dana)
and be a harmless person. (Sila)
Not being attached to any of them, (Nekkhamma)
I do it skillfully and wisely with tact. (Panna)
I exert effort, (Viriya)
with truthfulness, paitence and determination (Sacca, Khanti, Aditthana)
as the motivational factors.
Achieving the above factors,
I arrive at love and equanimity. (Metta, Upekkha)

With the time left, even I might get no marks, but I still have to complete what I've not completed so that I do justice to myselfm and pass my architecture exam with high marks. Thats what I can do for now to save the situation.

May I be able to fufill what I've realise.