有一次帮老板订酒店，想问问人家有没有什么免费上网之类的服务，
却怎么也想不出来怎么说好，于是就问对方:" 请问，你们这里有什么特殊服务吗?"
对方:"什么？特殊服务？？我们是正规酒店！" -__-!!!!
***************************************************************
在食堂排队，听见旁边一男生说："师傅，来碗'子弹菜花'汤！"（紫菜蛋花汤）哈哈，笑得我喷汤了。
***************************************************************
某日在米线店吃饭上得很慢很饿
终于按耐不住拍桌咆哮之，本来是想说再不上米线我就把桌子掀了！
结果说成:" 老板!!!! 再不上米线我就把桌子吃了!!!!"
全店沉默3 秒后爆笑到桌子下面……丢人……
***************************************************************
当年找工作时，主考官问我哪年毕业的。
我本来是要说2000 年的，结果一激动说："两千年前。。。"
更瀑布汗的是，主考官竟然噢了一声，说："孔子的学生吧。"
***************************************************************
记得有一次去买一种叫伊丽莎白的水果，我张口就说：老板，莎士比亚多少钱？
老板当场就呆了
***************************************************************
听同学说，一次她们宿舍的一个女生去买卫生巾，
对老板说："一包卫生巾。"
老板居然问：要三鲜的还是麻辣的？
然后那个同学愣了一下，说："三鲜吧，我怕麻辣的我受不了。。。"
***************************************************************
大学师姐，上教育心理学迟到 ...
走进教室。斜瞄了黑板一眼。
老教授生气中，就叫师姐回答黑板的问题。
师姐支吾半天说了: "<性感与性理论>，这也太难讲了啦。"
全班人仰马翻。
(注。教授原题: < 论理性与感性> )
***************************************************************
我一很要好的男同学摔坐在地上，
我为了表示关心问了一句:" 你的屁股摔疼了吧!"
结果不小心说成了："你的屁股摔死了吧 "
-_- 该兄站起来拍拍屁股，放了个屁，说："没死，还喘气呢 !"
我直接晕了。
***************************************************************
和领导等众人喝酒，举起酒杯大声道: "让我们同归于尽吧 !"
当时脑子太热了......
***************************************************************
我们有同事外地出差，经销商请吃饭。
席间要欲小便，经销商说对面就有洗手间，你去的话如果给门口说，我们是对面吃饭的就可以免费。
我们同事为了节约两毛钱，箭步直走，理直气壮地对管厕所的说："我是来吃饭的！"
***************************************************************
我是物流部的，过了年，客户打电话过来查询节前的货物什么时候到，因为过节这几天浑浑噩噩的，我也搞不清楚订单的内容，就顺口问了一句：您是什么东西？
***************************************************************
一次去市场买菜，准备聚餐，一个韩国朋友买了生菜，要2块4。
他把身上所有的零钱都给了小贩，还缺一毛钱，所以他对小贩说："我的毛，都给你了，所以没有毛了。"
小贩哑然，半天，回答："你的毛我不要了。"
***************************************************************
工会主席一番慷慨激昂地演说之后，
最后一句达到了高潮：“同志们，让我们今年的工作做得比明年更好！”
全场皆倒。
***************************************************************
和一帮朋友吃饭
其中一个人估计是被兄弟出卖了，郁闷的不行闷头喝了不少啤酒，
然后脸通红的站起来大吼一声：“兄弟！不是出来卖的！！！”
估计原来是想说兄弟不是用来出卖的当时，我们一桌十几个人就全趴了
***************************************************************
有个妹妹感冒了，嗓子疼，我想建议她吃“金嗓子喉宝”，结果说成：“赶紧用~~‘护舒宝’！ ”
——————————————————————————
注：
以上不是我本人的经历啊~！但超好笑~！哈哈哈~
Monday, December 31, 2007
律師笑話
電影裡，律師唇槍舌劍好不厲害，
其實，翻開美國各級法院的正式紀錄，不難找到 一些律師可笑的問話：
---------------------------------------------------
問：「你認識這相片上的人嗎？」
答：「那個人是我。」
問：「拍攝那張相片時你在場嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...我不在現場照得到我嗎?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「妳知道懷孕多久了嗎？」
答：「到十一月八日就有三個月了。」
問：「那麼妳是在八月八日受孕的？」
答：「是的。」
問：「那個時候妳在做什麼？
@#%&*@#$%...你覺得我是做什麼才受孕的...玩乒乓球嗎?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「她有.三個小孩是嗎？」
答：「是的
問：「幾個男孩？」
答：「沒有男孩。」
問：「有女孩嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...ㄚ如果也沒有女孩那不就生出一堆怪物!
---------------------------------------------------
問：「你不知道那是什麼，也不知道它的樣子，不過你能描述一下嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...你想要我怎麼描述呢?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「醫師，你記得給艾先生驗屍的時間嗎？」
答：「在傍晚時，驗屍從八點半開始。」
問：「那時候艾先生己經死了，對嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...不死我要怎麼驗屍ㄌㄟ?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「今天早上你宣誓時人在法庭嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...那我是靈魂出竅嗎?
其實，翻開美國各級法院的正式紀錄，不難找到 一些律師可笑的問話：
---------------------------------------------------
問：「你認識這相片上的人嗎？」
答：「那個人是我。」
問：「拍攝那張相片時你在場嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...我不在現場照得到我嗎?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「妳知道懷孕多久了嗎？」
答：「到十一月八日就有三個月了。」
問：「那麼妳是在八月八日受孕的？」
答：「是的。」
問：「那個時候妳在做什麼？
@#%&*@#$%...你覺得我是做什麼才受孕的...玩乒乓球嗎?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「她有.三個小孩是嗎？」
答：「是的
問：「幾個男孩？」
答：「沒有男孩。」
問：「有女孩嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...ㄚ如果也沒有女孩那不就生出一堆怪物!
---------------------------------------------------
問：「你不知道那是什麼，也不知道它的樣子，不過你能描述一下嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...你想要我怎麼描述呢?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「醫師，你記得給艾先生驗屍的時間嗎？」
答：「在傍晚時，驗屍從八點半開始。」
問：「那時候艾先生己經死了，對嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...不死我要怎麼驗屍ㄌㄟ?
---------------------------------------------------
問：「今天早上你宣誓時人在法庭嗎？」
@#%&*@#$%...那我是靈魂出竅嗎?
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Recollection on the last BS day...
看看去年的剧本。。。听听剧情里的音乐。。。似乎回到了现场。。。想起世元那嘴硬心软，万福的柔柔真诚。。。虽然，演出有许多失误和问题，造成观众很难理解，剧本的不完美。。。但是还是很有意义的一场演出。大家在结束后，在后台的欢呼。。。
人世间最美的就是纯洁的心。在所有的故事意义背后，其实就是一颗“真心”。当初，我写这个剧的时候，就是要告诉大家，不要因为一时的私欲，对别人失去你那原本真诚纯洁的心。不要等到失去了才会珍惜。真正的放下无谓的怨恨。当我们有一颗“真心”，你就会拥有真爱。它超越各种的心情。真心是没有私欲的存在。如果真心需要特意去做很多东西，那么，那就不是真爱。真心会引导你去做该做的事情，应为污垢心最清楚。
即使世元表现的不理不睬，行为上伤害了万福，但是内心其实藏有一份纯洁的心。所以诗上说：
“人生的旅途，崎岖不平。
没有人搀扶着，是那么的孤单无助。
感恩，陪伴着我的一切。
在生命的篇章，赋予了温暖和色彩
蓝天只隔着一层乌云
随着大雨后的是彩虹
虽然你心中，还有着些许的埋怨
表面的无心，背后隐藏着真实的你
我耐心的等待，希望晴天的降临
看见了真实的本性，一同欣赏美丽的人生”
迷惑的心，是要依靠外面的表现来去感受心。在表现和内心，一直存在着心力和迷惑的战争。
当我们放下一切的理由，去问自己心，你就会知道，哪一个妖怪在控制你，你到底对那人如何。
当世元被纯净心的“精灵”（白衣怪人），带领它道前世的记忆，去感受遗留在心中的温暖，真心就会胜过迷惑的污染。
真爱没有理由。对于无我的圣人，爱没有限制，没有对象，更没有原因或目的。爱，就是单纯的希望你会快乐，你会好，你会远离痛苦的心。这样的人，不会应为自己的利益，而伤害你或讨好你。不只出发点是为了你，它也不会因为自己的利益或考虑到自己的利益而对你好。如果离开会好，他会离开。如果见面会好，他会见面。对于凡人，自己为执著而痛，也会愿意分离。
“拥有时，未想过失去后的日子。
直到已经失去了，才看见自私的自己。
今天的我，已经学会去珍惜
这样，是否足够换取多一次的机会？
（叹气）原来后悔时，已经太迟”
对人心要真、处事意要纯。不要欺骗自己，不要欺骗别人，更不可以欺骗自己的心。
在外面社会太久，接触太多的物质造作，最会忘记了真心的存在。
人世间最美的就是纯洁的心。在所有的故事意义背后，其实就是一颗“真心”。当初，我写这个剧的时候，就是要告诉大家，不要因为一时的私欲，对别人失去你那原本真诚纯洁的心。不要等到失去了才会珍惜。真正的放下无谓的怨恨。当我们有一颗“真心”，你就会拥有真爱。它超越各种的心情。真心是没有私欲的存在。如果真心需要特意去做很多东西，那么，那就不是真爱。真心会引导你去做该做的事情，应为污垢心最清楚。
即使世元表现的不理不睬，行为上伤害了万福，但是内心其实藏有一份纯洁的心。所以诗上说：
“人生的旅途，崎岖不平。
没有人搀扶着，是那么的孤单无助。
感恩，陪伴着我的一切。
在生命的篇章，赋予了温暖和色彩
蓝天只隔着一层乌云
随着大雨后的是彩虹
虽然你心中，还有着些许的埋怨
表面的无心，背后隐藏着真实的你
我耐心的等待，希望晴天的降临
看见了真实的本性，一同欣赏美丽的人生”
迷惑的心，是要依靠外面的表现来去感受心。在表现和内心，一直存在着心力和迷惑的战争。
当我们放下一切的理由，去问自己心，你就会知道，哪一个妖怪在控制你，你到底对那人如何。
当世元被纯净心的“精灵”（白衣怪人），带领它道前世的记忆，去感受遗留在心中的温暖，真心就会胜过迷惑的污染。
真爱没有理由。对于无我的圣人，爱没有限制，没有对象，更没有原因或目的。爱，就是单纯的希望你会快乐，你会好，你会远离痛苦的心。这样的人，不会应为自己的利益，而伤害你或讨好你。不只出发点是为了你，它也不会因为自己的利益或考虑到自己的利益而对你好。如果离开会好，他会离开。如果见面会好，他会见面。对于凡人，自己为执著而痛，也会愿意分离。
人最珍贵的就是一颗真诚，单纯的心。不要让真挚的友情、爱情、亲情，成为满足物质贪婪的工具。真情，就是这样。即使失去所有的因素，那情是不会变的，应为一直就是这样。
“拥有时，未想过失去后的日子。
直到已经失去了，才看见自私的自己。
今天的我，已经学会去珍惜
这样，是否足够换取多一次的机会？
（叹气）原来后悔时，已经太迟”
对人心要真、处事意要纯。不要欺骗自己，不要欺骗别人，更不可以欺骗自己的心。
在外面社会太久，接触太多的物质造作，最会忘记了真心的存在。
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
People's Key Test
Purpose: Screen prospective employees, improve retention with your existing employees and improve communication.
Here is your results report:
Keyword: Persuader
Job Title: Government Executives/Legislators
Persuaders are adaptable leaders who work with and through people. They have an outgoing spirit, high interest in people and the ability to gain respect and admiration from varied types of individuals. They do business in a friendly way, while striving to win others to their objectives and sell their point of view. They can be inattentive to the "little things".
Persuaders may act impulsively, may be overly enthusiastic and may oversell. They may overestimate their ability to motivate people or change the behavior of others. They seek freedom from routine, and they want authority as well as prestige. They need a variety of activities and work more efficiently when others provide analytical data. They need assignments requiring mobility and challenge.
Persuaders may have a hard time resting. They may seem as if they are nervous or fidgety; they are always in the middle of some activity. They are very optimistic and motivating; they know how to get results! Persuaders are good communicators and have a true interest in people. They are good problem solvers, but they need to relax and pace themselves. They would do well to remember that they do not always have to take the lead position - they can be supporters and helpers also. They need to relax and learn to try not to control everything and everyone.
Persuaders want the people around them to communicate efficiently and effectively. They tend to make decisions quickly and are comfortable making high-risk determinations. Often viewed by others as overconfident or conceited, Persuaders may be aggressive, especially when communicating with people who like to pay attention to all the fine points. They are optimistic and tend to overestimate the abilities of others because of their trust and confidence.
MOTIVATING GOALS:
Maintain friendships, gain authority and prestige
EVALUATES OTHERS BY:
Positive acceptance of them and their ideas
INFLUENCES OTHERS BY:
Personal relationships, accommodation
VALUE TO TEAM:
Confidence builder, positive and optimistic, accountable, sense of urgency
OVERUSES:
Talking, optimism vs. realism
REACTION TO PRESSURE:
Domineering, doesn’t listen to others, egotistical, driving force
GREATEST FEARS:
Rejection; being taken advantage of
AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Be more realistic; reduce the necessity to be liked by everyone; talk less - listen more
***************************************
Personal Comment: Abit accurate...Because how can I be inattentive to details? LOL... People who have worked with me long should know I mind alot about details and accuracy. But the rest is quite true... Maybe didn't realise it.
https://app1.peoplekeys.com/peoplekeysmedia/pk_demo/
Free... Need name, phone and email... Anyhow fill in the Phone la... But they need your email to send you the report.
Here is your results report:
Keyword: Persuader
Job Title: Government Executives/Legislators
Persuaders are adaptable leaders who work with and through people. They have an outgoing spirit, high interest in people and the ability to gain respect and admiration from varied types of individuals. They do business in a friendly way, while striving to win others to their objectives and sell their point of view. They can be inattentive to the "little things".
Persuaders may act impulsively, may be overly enthusiastic and may oversell. They may overestimate their ability to motivate people or change the behavior of others. They seek freedom from routine, and they want authority as well as prestige. They need a variety of activities and work more efficiently when others provide analytical data. They need assignments requiring mobility and challenge.
Persuaders may have a hard time resting. They may seem as if they are nervous or fidgety; they are always in the middle of some activity. They are very optimistic and motivating; they know how to get results! Persuaders are good communicators and have a true interest in people. They are good problem solvers, but they need to relax and pace themselves. They would do well to remember that they do not always have to take the lead position - they can be supporters and helpers also. They need to relax and learn to try not to control everything and everyone.
Persuaders want the people around them to communicate efficiently and effectively. They tend to make decisions quickly and are comfortable making high-risk determinations. Often viewed by others as overconfident or conceited, Persuaders may be aggressive, especially when communicating with people who like to pay attention to all the fine points. They are optimistic and tend to overestimate the abilities of others because of their trust and confidence.
MOTIVATING GOALS:
Maintain friendships, gain authority and prestige
EVALUATES OTHERS BY:
Positive acceptance of them and their ideas
INFLUENCES OTHERS BY:
Personal relationships, accommodation
VALUE TO TEAM:
Confidence builder, positive and optimistic, accountable, sense of urgency
OVERUSES:
Talking, optimism vs. realism
REACTION TO PRESSURE:
Domineering, doesn’t listen to others, egotistical, driving force
GREATEST FEARS:
Rejection; being taken advantage of
AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Be more realistic; reduce the necessity to be liked by everyone; talk less - listen more
***************************************
Personal Comment: Abit accurate...Because how can I be inattentive to details? LOL... People who have worked with me long should know I mind alot about details and accuracy. But the rest is quite true... Maybe didn't realise it.
https://app1.peoplekeys.com/peoplekeysmedia/pk_demo/
Free... Need name, phone and email... Anyhow fill in the Phone la... But they need your email to send you the report.
My personality test Report
Your Personality Style Description:
Hor is a fact finder and does things "by the book". He can be sensitive if others are being critical of his work, especially if they have not carefully reviewed all the data. Hor clarifies expectations before undertaking new projects, and he works hard to meet standards. Hor will typically maintain a neat and orderly work environment.
A loyal friend, Hor is patient and caring when attending to the needs of others. He is usually an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. He tends to be quite predictable, sticking with proven, reliable methods of dealing with situations rather than taking chances with a new, unproven approach.
A very creative person, Hor is often willing to seek out new solutions to problems. He is self motivated and will often work at a fast pace to accomplish his goals. Hor likes new challenges and he is usually able to make decisions easily, even under pressure.
Hor usually avoids being the center of attention. He tends to pick his friends carefully and is usually cautious and not overly "open" to strangers. Hor may sometimes come across as being skeptical of what others tell him they will do, but once a person has proven their reliability, Hor is willing to invest more time and trust in the relationship.
****************************
Personal Comment: Very accurate...
http://www.personalitystyle.com/
Need to sign up to get password to access.
Free. Worth to register. Name and email is needed.
Hor is a fact finder and does things "by the book". He can be sensitive if others are being critical of his work, especially if they have not carefully reviewed all the data. Hor clarifies expectations before undertaking new projects, and he works hard to meet standards. Hor will typically maintain a neat and orderly work environment.
A loyal friend, Hor is patient and caring when attending to the needs of others. He is usually an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. He tends to be quite predictable, sticking with proven, reliable methods of dealing with situations rather than taking chances with a new, unproven approach.
A very creative person, Hor is often willing to seek out new solutions to problems. He is self motivated and will often work at a fast pace to accomplish his goals. Hor likes new challenges and he is usually able to make decisions easily, even under pressure.
Hor usually avoids being the center of attention. He tends to pick his friends carefully and is usually cautious and not overly "open" to strangers. Hor may sometimes come across as being skeptical of what others tell him they will do, but once a person has proven their reliability, Hor is willing to invest more time and trust in the relationship.
****************************
Personal Comment: Very accurate...
http://www.personalitystyle.com/
Need to sign up to get password to access.
Free. Worth to register. Name and email is needed.
Monday, December 17, 2007
闭嘴！！
Parami 姐姐说：“ I think... u better meditate EVERYday la”
So... I'll meditate Everyday... and *ZIP* HAHA....
Actually trying to *Zip* last time liao... But very hard to *ZIP*... Hope this time really can *ZIP*, for the benefit of myself and others!
HAHAHAHA~!!
莫说他人长与短，
所来说去自遭殃。
若能闭口深藏舌，
便是修行第一方。
HAHAHAHA~!!
So... I'll meditate Everyday... and *ZIP* HAHA....
Actually trying to *Zip* last time liao... But very hard to *ZIP*... Hope this time really can *ZIP*, for the benefit of myself and others!
HAHAHAHA~!!
莫说他人长与短，
所来说去自遭殃。
若能闭口深藏舌，
便是修行第一方。
HAHAHAHA~!!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
南京大屠杀七十周年祭
丁亥年壬子月辛已日，农历冬月初四，公历二千零七年十二月十三日上午十时，南京防空警报准时长鸣，凄厉的尖啸声划破长空，卷带着刺骨的寒风，在古城金陵上空盘旋。
七十周年前的今天，作为国民政府首都的南京，数十万中国守军在日军饱和攻击下，伤亡殆尽，城防失陷。在华中派遣军司令官松井石根和第六师团长谷寿夫的指挥下，侵华日军对已经放下武器的中国军人和手无寸铁南京百姓进行长达6周的血腥大屠杀。
日军在南京集体屠杀28案，包括被集体枪杀与活埋的计19万余人；零散屠杀858案，仅被收埋的尸体就有15万多具。日军在6周内共屠杀南京市民和被俘中国官兵30余万人，强奸妇女8万余人。六朝古都顿成人间炼狱，死者睹者莫不目眦尽裂。河山破碎，生灵涂炭。堂堂中华，沦落至此！ 历史已矣，警钟长鸣。今天南京的空气中似乎还能嗅到燃烧的味道，今天的风声中似乎还夹杂着死难者的呼号。
七十年了，我们还能够听到他们的声音吗？还能够听懂他们的声音吗？ 中国不能亡，中国一定强！ 向在南京大屠杀中死难同胞默哀！
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Words might not be the meanings
Don't mistake mere words to be the meaning of the teachings.
Mingle the practice with your own being and attain liberation from samsara right now.
You shuold not love something just because of its beauty, or because it fulfills your wishes,
Sadhu... Sadhu...
Mingle the practice with your own being and attain liberation from samsara right now.
You shuold not love something just because of its beauty, or because it fulfills your wishes,
Nor should you hate something because of its ugliness or because it does not fulfill your wishes.
When the sense of ego is eradicated, you will attain enlightenment!
-Padma Sambhava Guru Rinpoche
When the sense of ego is eradicated, you will attain enlightenment!
-Padma Sambhava Guru Rinpoche
Sadhu... Sadhu...
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