Irony

"The more I loved you, the more I should leave for you good."

Isn't that an irony to most people?
But, I always agree that love, can do without possessing and ownership.

The more I care the more I should leave... That has become my motivation, and it's getting stronger and stronger.

I guess I delight more in helping others, and that's what I like to do. I doesn't like that feeling, when i'll have to put myself infront of others, while we chase over the same benefit and achievement. That greed, that selfishness. I rather lose in sense the of achievement, than to lose myself to my inner war.

Throughout these years, I began to see my limits when I tried to help others, especially with the point to know the truth of things. What is really true, and what isn't.

I began to feel helpless. I'm bounded by my ignorance. Now, I decieded that I want to make an end to my ignorance... that's the way to really enable myself to help, and to really help others in their problems, and even my own.

When I am expected to relinquish everything, little little things starts to come up, "I wouldn't be able to enjoy my favourite past times", "What about my friends?", "Games?", "Family?"

But now I see, this isn't a problem to me because I will have to go beyond them, and thats the whole purpose of letting go in the first place.

I may stay, with possessions... but I'll never go beyond these desires... and the problem will always left unresolved.

The fear is from losing things... but there is nothing to fear after I've gone beyond. That's what I'm aiming for now... going beyond them... and be really free and at ease.

I'll have to cross, before I can enable those I love, to cross, as that's the greatest happiness I can really give. In fact, that is the only main thing that they need... to go beyond the fear of losing what they loved.

Death bring's seperation, good health is lost due to illness and diseases, beauty and energy are lost due to natural aging. This are things we like, but this are things we are going to lose. It is a natural for most worldlings, even me, to fear loss of whatever is beloved: people, wife, health, freedom, love, friendship, opportunity...etc.

We can't stop these to happen, but we can go beyond.

Can I? Just waiting for the benefiting factors to arise... = )
I'll miss you, You'll miss me... but I hope that we can go beyond, and be really free.