A quote from the founder of Palitext Society

"Buddhist or not Buddhist, I have examined every one of the great religious systems of the world, and in none of them have I found anything to surpass, in beauty and comprehensiveness, the Noble Eightfold Path and the Four Noble Truths of the Buddha. I am content to shape my life according to that path."

- Thomas William Rhys Davids, -

A British scholar of the Pāli language

and founder of the Pali Text Society

An exchange

I've met with 2 different paths, and it seems to be an exchange. If I choose path A den i'll get C but i'll lose D. If I choose path B den i'll get D but lose C.

Jaclyn said something today,"Something we should think for ourselvs." I understands what she meant, to take care of myself, don't neglect ourself.

Amazingly, I submited a design journal of only 8 pages, no presentation boards, no model, nthing, while others had panels, well done models, thick thick journals, and yet the lecturers still seat down and listen to my presentation...with nothing literally. Of course, in the end very jialat la, mdm. chan said something,"Do you think you should get a diploma with what you have done?" I know the answer and replied "no, its not good enough." But what stikes me was Mr.Chu's words, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well"

I end with a "thank you" everytime, because, I really thank them, for listening to my presentation while I've nthing up there.

Remembering the 10 paramis, they are in sequence for a purpose, some might not know. What comes after nekkhamma parami is panna parami and viriya parami. After renoucing is wisdom and energy. Letting go is not equivilant to "nevermind", "heck care", but ending of craving, clinging or attachment. Energy is to support so that one will not slack after letting go. I had made a mistake.

Although, I've choose the path to benefit others than myself, it is unskillfully done. Why BS above my work? Because if BS is well done, it will benefits all the members to learn dhamma and find the path to happiness. The Dhamma is so wonderful that it is worth serving it, so that others can really know the Buddha Dhamma.
My dear lecturers and friends had asked,"what happened to you?" But I can't answer because they don't understand what is Dhamma, and people will think that its just a believe, just faith, just a religion and I had to remain silent so many times. Some might think I said the above out of faith and believe also...

In the result of that, school work was very neglected. This is the mistake.

When Mr Chu said, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well" then I finally realise what have went wrong. Now that I understand, when I had a priority, doesn't mean "which one should I neglect more", but "which one should I work harder for." I treated BS work seriously but I neglected school work. Without that "seriousness" there is no motivational factor to drive while doing my projects, cause I "let go" mah. I always think, "Do for other, do for other, don't be selfish". I should have let go both and treated both seriously.

Sitting there, watching the other's present, I've been thinking through all this. 'Ya, treating both seriously' putting both of them equally important. When met with cases that I have to choose between sch and BS, the priority of the work is not for us to judge 'which one should I forgo' but thinking 'how to compromise both tasks with whatever I can.' and this is skillfulnes. This is how wisdom comes before effort.

Although I might have to retain this year, really le, but I'm feeling happy now because what I've learnt is much precious above grades, its a precious experience that I can share with the next batch, with friends. Thanks to Mr Chu because, if he have not said that, I might not even learn anything out of all these efforts.

A 10 parami poem:

I should always give, (Dana)
and be a harmless person. (Sila)
Not being attached to any of them, (Nekkhamma)
I do it skillfully and wisely with tact. (Panna)
I exert effort, (Viriya)
with truthfulness, paitence and determination (Sacca, Khanti, Aditthana)
as the motivational factors.
Achieving the above factors,
I arrive at love and equanimity. (Metta, Upekkha)

With the time left, even I might get no marks, but I still have to complete what I've not completed so that I do justice to myselfm and pass my architecture exam with high marks. Thats what I can do for now to save the situation.

May I be able to fufill what I've realise.

Unrestrainted...

Recently I've been unrestrain and no discipline for myself.
Somehow it just lack energy to hold back somethings or to exert effort on somethings. The mind just "soften" when it tries.

I've been looking at other people's progress constantly, but it seems that I had deproved alot since then. Always caring about other people's "half-heartness", "carelessness", "heedlessness" etc.

Recently, I've read a sutta about bamboo acrobats.
The master and the disciple are displaying bamboo tricks and the master was suggesting that, he shall look after him(disciple) and the disciple shall look after himself while the discple was balancing on the teacher's shoulder.

The disciple suggested that will not work, but they should look after themselves so that they can perform.

and the Buddha draw this simile:

"Looking after oneself, one looks after others.
Looking after others, one looks after oneself"

hmm...thats my mistake, where I look at others but fail to look at myself.
Looking at my last project stage... frankly speaking, no progress... I wanted to do a model, and I skipped 3 days of classes, and end up, nothing was produce becos I was doing something unrelated to my work. Where is self discipline? where is self restraint? How come I was so weak in self control?

I should establish myself within, looking at myself first, than I look at others.

"And how does one look after others by looking after oneself?
By practicing (mindfulness), by developing (it), by doing (it) a lot.

And how does one look after oneself by looking after others?
By patience, by non-harming, by loving kindness, by caring (for others).

(Thus) looking after oneself, one looks after others;
and looking after others, one looks after oneself."

Thats my work... I really lacked... mental cultivation... mind will degenerate when it is lost not established in mindfulness.

Walking at the last phase of my poly life... so soon... I hope I can finish it off with a beautiful ending.

Where it is beautiful in the begining, and middle, I met friends, I do not fall into selfishness but selflessness as far as possible, I learn to love, to give truly, I learn to do things without unwillingness.

These are things where I got, more than what will be gain if I bury myself into results and grades. And now, walking to the end, my task is to pass my diploma studies, ending it rightly, ending with glory of completing 3 years and honour of virtues cultivated.

Fruitful conversation

What an intresting conversation with a wushu junior(maybe more power den me le).
and it was a younger person who was able to speak wisdom and pointed my mistakes. I see my own ego, and thus humility must be practised and listen to words of advices.

It was another turning point for me soon, as once again, there is much for me to perfect. Humility is what I truly lack. One who has no respect cannot gain in knowledge, thus no attainments. I have been too "correct" and ego did grow.

He pointed out a good point,
"overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious."
and I believe this was what everyone meant of being "harsh" and "hard", when I was again and again being commented about it. Now I see it and I sincerely apologise and confess.

If such harsh reactions become a habit, my looks will be even worse in the next rebirth, and I thought, maybe thats why I am born with a aggressive character, thus my appearance was not good, angry person never looks beautiful =)

Recalling what fenny had said, "You are correct, but wrong because you have conceit"
The idea might be correct, but it is wrong as it is potrayed with such a way and attitude. Thus, method must be skillful.

and "overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious." strikes a balance of not being too soft, where hardness doesn't hurt a person.

Most probably, tats why people tend favour people whom they liked but not the one who offers benefits out of concern of them. but sometimes, for the sake to benefit the most, popularity have to be sacrificed, and if I am to be blamed for all the negativity, den be it. Although, I do hoped to be remembered when people began to taste the sweetness of the fruits, but I'll have to accept the fact that I am not.

Thus, it becomes a mantra for me, "As long they benefit", I'll keep repeating it to perfect my Parami's. Each time I thought of being forgotten, I should do more, even more. Never give up even when gold offered and got rocks in return.

Thanks to Xiang Jie~! You gave me the chance to practise humility truly, accepting my faults without denial. Not only, I learned, but you had greatly benefited the rest of the people.

Strive to be pure, as u said =)
When time rippens, find out more about the mind in terms of seeing than analysing materially, then you can have a break thru.