Well, ajhan keng had organised quite a number of cemetery meditation sessions at Kopi hill Cemetery, but I didn't really got the chance to go. Today, 15 March 2007, I had my first try finally.
The bunch of SPBS people had been requesting ajhan to organise one for us, but he didn't agreed, and finally this time round he get the palelai people to specially contact those sp students who is familiar enough with meditation, about this meditation session(which normally they don't). So, happily, those who went for santi forest monastery a few times for training, and had actually performed well, went for this session as well. Plus one, who didn't went to santi but steadily practising his "Buddho" in singapore the concrete forest, and he did well too! Haha... better than some of us who went santi even.
Alvin, William, Ming gen, Wei chuan, Dickson and me met at palelai at 7pm. I was amazed by the punctuality the adults have. This is what we youngsters must learn, 2 of our group nearly late, the people set off at 7pm sharp, lucky the 2 was on time. On time i mean b4 the last car went off, which was ard 7.10pm. If they missed, thats it, because its hard to get to Kopi hill is you have no personal car, or nt familiar with the place. and this inspires me about dealing with punctuality in BS. Those who are late, will settle the trip themself, no one shall wait. Maybe tat will work.
Kopi hill in singapore was so call haunted la, and there are stories about it. But suprisingly, what I dealt with is more than ghost and spirits. Our mind is a stupid thing sometimes, because they are deluded by igronance. It always creates and we always believe. No ghost say got ghost, in fact infront NOTHING, and got scared because the mind says something. BUT, its more than our own minds.
In fact, none of us is afraid when we reach there. Other than abit excitied when we are on the way. By the time we reach the cemetery, it is 7.50pm le. The sky was dark already. So ajhan assign a tomb for each of us. For new comers like us, we seat 2-3 together first. but still, 1 tomb for each. Its that kinda chinese tomb we see in Lim chu Kang, but is very old, the corpse below should be left with bones already. And guess what, We seat not infront, not beside but ON TOP of the tomb, that small patch of grass like a hill.
Not much fear la, just seat lor, out of respect, I put my things neatly on the tomb but not at the tablet. So we began to meditate. It was quiet and calm, just like a forest. No light, nothing. after sometime, something start crawling on my legs. Ants. At first, ok la, nevermind, dun care. But slowly it get more and more. Some begin to bite. I tolerate, until the leg will shake. Den it advance upwards! when some was biting my tummy, wha! cannot liao, den I start sweeping them off my body, make sure I don't harm them. I on my torach light, wha, my whole leg is ants.
Later Some of us stand up, on the tombstone grass. den seat again, the ants come, tolerate, sweap, stand... for 2 hours. But we did manage to meditate somehow. and 2 hrs just pass like tat without realising it. Normally 2 hours for us is like quite long at santi. So, we dealt not with ghost, but ANTS. Lucky no mosquito.
I think this time round no scary cos too much people went. I heard 50+ ppl went. Alvin was seating near ajhan keng. and he was amazed and at what he saw. and this was said by alvin, "I saw ajhan keng standing on top of the tomb(The stone tablet). Wha, he Steady lor". LOL, I didn't even dare to put my torch light on the tablet, he stand on it! haha...
Those seating on the top of the hill didn't get ants, but we seating at the lower part kanna. Hai~ but i believe if lesser people, more spread out, I should have fear arising bah. But I didn't get the chance to confront and overcome. But I overcome my sloth and topor finally. well, who dare to fall aslp on a tomb, when u r seating on it. Haha... May I had the chance to practse well and realise Nibbana bah = ) and for those who wish to go, May you too get the chance soon.
Sadhu~ May the merits thus accrued be dedicated to all and may be practise grow, may dhamma grow, may SPBS grow and May you grow in the Dhamma and attain liberation too
=) May you, the reader, Be well and Happy! and the Ants too.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
A Repeat without regrets
So, my grades are finally out.
Semester GPA = 0.077
Cumulative GPA = 1.133
Well, but no regrets. Although this is not what I desired but I had prepared to face anything like this since year 2. It is better to flunk something call "Grades" than to sacrifice my conscience and virtue for "Grades". For my case, I think, maybe the time is really too little to complete what I need, and lack of skill. Now, I am equiped with a new skill, and it will help me in the future.
I felt that many abilities I had today, is accumulated more than 1 life time, thus it's another power up.
Happiness and sense of achievement will come to me when I had good grades or compliments, but happiness and sense of achievement is more when I see my fellows walking on the path to deathless, as that happiness is real and lasting.
I might seems mad, or hard-core when I say this, in a form of a lay person, but to a ordained person, thats what they do, the gave up all their possesion for the sake of this liberation from life and death, enters the door of deathless founded by the Buddha.
Compared to sacrifice others for self, I sacrifice self for others sake. But that sacrifice must be worth it, it must bring benefit to others, and serving the Dhamma, so that other can meet the real Dhamma, had the chance to free from Dukkha, thats more worthwhile. If by repeating one year, it became the cause for 1, for 2,3,4, etc, to meet the real dhamma, to see the sublime truth, to be able to gain nibbana, it is worth it. Thats the meaning of, Cira tittatu Saddhammo, May the Dhamma stay on.
Once a Deva asked Buddha,
"Giving what does one give strength?"
" ... ...give beauty? "
" ... ...give ease? "
" Giving what does one give sight? "
" Who is the giver of all? "
The Buddha replied,
"Giving food, one gives strength"
"Giving clothes, one gives beauty"
"Giving a vehicle, one gives ease"
"Giving lamp, one gives sight"
"The one who gives a residence is the giver of all"
"But the one who teaches the Dhamma, is the giver of deathless."
Stength, beauty, wealth, pleasure soon become a dream when death and illness comes. Thus, giving deathless is something most reliable. Reflect on this when u are sick, when u begin to age, when u know you are dying soon, you will quickly wake up. Since happiness never stays forever, same to suffering, I choose to ignore both and reach what the Buddha say "Santo", peace.
Thus, no regrets, cause it is worthwhile. Certainly, I had grivences in the past, but as my practise grows, the more I began to see and realise, I am able to see the greatness of Dhamma.
No aspiration announced, my actions gives aspirations. No small or big vehicle, only the one who walks the path and the one who doesn't. The one who walks, is the true vehicle towards liberation of self, of others and of both.
"But Cunda, that a man who himself is sunk in a morass can drag out another who had sunk therein, such a thing is not to be found. But Chunda, that a man who himself is not sunk in a morass, can drag out another who has sunk therein, such a thing is to be found"
"Never neglect your own salvation out of regard for the salvation of others, for in this case you will only ruin yourself without really being of use to others."
Anyway, because my attention was in the Dhamma. I felt that my skills are not well practised enough. A repeat can help me trained up my architectural studies and experience. The great project of SPBS is almost done, now its the time to complete what I should.
Well, only I truly know what I am capable of, thats good enough.
Semester GPA = 0.077
Cumulative GPA = 1.133
Well, but no regrets. Although this is not what I desired but I had prepared to face anything like this since year 2. It is better to flunk something call "Grades" than to sacrifice my conscience and virtue for "Grades". For my case, I think, maybe the time is really too little to complete what I need, and lack of skill. Now, I am equiped with a new skill, and it will help me in the future.
I felt that many abilities I had today, is accumulated more than 1 life time, thus it's another power up.
Happiness and sense of achievement will come to me when I had good grades or compliments, but happiness and sense of achievement is more when I see my fellows walking on the path to deathless, as that happiness is real and lasting.
I might seems mad, or hard-core when I say this, in a form of a lay person, but to a ordained person, thats what they do, the gave up all their possesion for the sake of this liberation from life and death, enters the door of deathless founded by the Buddha.
Compared to sacrifice others for self, I sacrifice self for others sake. But that sacrifice must be worth it, it must bring benefit to others, and serving the Dhamma, so that other can meet the real Dhamma, had the chance to free from Dukkha, thats more worthwhile. If by repeating one year, it became the cause for 1, for 2,3,4, etc, to meet the real dhamma, to see the sublime truth, to be able to gain nibbana, it is worth it. Thats the meaning of, Cira tittatu Saddhammo, May the Dhamma stay on.
Once a Deva asked Buddha,
"Giving what does one give strength?"
" ... ...give beauty? "
" ... ...give ease? "
" Giving what does one give sight? "
" Who is the giver of all? "
The Buddha replied,
"Giving food, one gives strength"
"Giving clothes, one gives beauty"
"Giving a vehicle, one gives ease"
"Giving lamp, one gives sight"
"The one who gives a residence is the giver of all"
"But the one who teaches the Dhamma, is the giver of deathless."
Stength, beauty, wealth, pleasure soon become a dream when death and illness comes. Thus, giving deathless is something most reliable. Reflect on this when u are sick, when u begin to age, when u know you are dying soon, you will quickly wake up. Since happiness never stays forever, same to suffering, I choose to ignore both and reach what the Buddha say "Santo", peace.
Thus, no regrets, cause it is worthwhile. Certainly, I had grivences in the past, but as my practise grows, the more I began to see and realise, I am able to see the greatness of Dhamma.
No aspiration announced, my actions gives aspirations. No small or big vehicle, only the one who walks the path and the one who doesn't. The one who walks, is the true vehicle towards liberation of self, of others and of both.
"But Cunda, that a man who himself is sunk in a morass can drag out another who had sunk therein, such a thing is not to be found. But Chunda, that a man who himself is not sunk in a morass, can drag out another who has sunk therein, such a thing is to be found"
"Never neglect your own salvation out of regard for the salvation of others, for in this case you will only ruin yourself without really being of use to others."
Anyway, because my attention was in the Dhamma. I felt that my skills are not well practised enough. A repeat can help me trained up my architectural studies and experience. The great project of SPBS is almost done, now its the time to complete what I should.
Well, only I truly know what I am capable of, thats good enough.
Monday, March 05, 2007
A quote from the founder of Palitext Society
"Buddhist or not Buddhist, I have examined every one of the great religious systems of the world, and in none of them have I found anything to surpass, in beauty and comprehensiveness, the Noble Eightfold Path and the Four Noble Truths of the Buddha. I am content to shape my life according to that path."
- Thomas William Rhys Davids, -
A British scholar of the Pāli language
and founder of the Pali Text Society
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
An exchange
I've met with 2 different paths, and it seems to be an exchange. If I choose path A den i'll get C but i'll lose D. If I choose path B den i'll get D but lose C.
Jaclyn said something today,"Something we should think for ourselvs." I understands what she meant, to take care of myself, don't neglect ourself.
Amazingly, I submited a design journal of only 8 pages, no presentation boards, no model, nthing, while others had panels, well done models, thick thick journals, and yet the lecturers still seat down and listen to my presentation...with nothing literally. Of course, in the end very jialat la, mdm. chan said something,"Do you think you should get a diploma with what you have done?" I know the answer and replied "no, its not good enough." But what stikes me was Mr.Chu's words, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well"
I end with a "thank you" everytime, because, I really thank them, for listening to my presentation while I've nthing up there.
Remembering the 10 paramis, they are in sequence for a purpose, some might not know. What comes after nekkhamma parami is panna parami and viriya parami. After renoucing is wisdom and energy. Letting go is not equivilant to "nevermind", "heck care", but ending of craving, clinging or attachment. Energy is to support so that one will not slack after letting go. I had made a mistake.
Although, I've choose the path to benefit others than myself, it is unskillfully done. Why BS above my work? Because if BS is well done, it will benefits all the members to learn dhamma and find the path to happiness. The Dhamma is so wonderful that it is worth serving it, so that others can really know the Buddha Dhamma.
My dear lecturers and friends had asked,"what happened to you?" But I can't answer because they don't understand what is Dhamma, and people will think that its just a believe, just faith, just a religion and I had to remain silent so many times. Some might think I said the above out of faith and believe also...
In the result of that, school work was very neglected. This is the mistake.
When Mr Chu said, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well" then I finally realise what have went wrong. Now that I understand, when I had a priority, doesn't mean "which one should I neglect more", but "which one should I work harder for." I treated BS work seriously but I neglected school work. Without that "seriousness" there is no motivational factor to drive while doing my projects, cause I "let go" mah. I always think, "Do for other, do for other, don't be selfish". I should have let go both and treated both seriously.
Sitting there, watching the other's present, I've been thinking through all this. 'Ya, treating both seriously' putting both of them equally important. When met with cases that I have to choose between sch and BS, the priority of the work is not for us to judge 'which one should I forgo' but thinking 'how to compromise both tasks with whatever I can.' and this is skillfulnes. This is how wisdom comes before effort.
Although I might have to retain this year, really le, but I'm feeling happy now because what I've learnt is much precious above grades, its a precious experience that I can share with the next batch, with friends. Thanks to Mr Chu because, if he have not said that, I might not even learn anything out of all these efforts.
A 10 parami poem:
I should always give, (Dana)
and be a harmless person. (Sila)
Not being attached to any of them, (Nekkhamma)
I do it skillfully and wisely with tact. (Panna)
I exert effort, (Viriya)
with truthfulness, paitence and determination (Sacca, Khanti, Aditthana)
as the motivational factors.
Achieving the above factors,
I arrive at love and equanimity. (Metta, Upekkha)
With the time left, even I might get no marks, but I still have to complete what I've not completed so that I do justice to myselfm and pass my architecture exam with high marks. Thats what I can do for now to save the situation.
May I be able to fufill what I've realise.
Jaclyn said something today,"Something we should think for ourselvs." I understands what she meant, to take care of myself, don't neglect ourself.
Amazingly, I submited a design journal of only 8 pages, no presentation boards, no model, nthing, while others had panels, well done models, thick thick journals, and yet the lecturers still seat down and listen to my presentation...with nothing literally. Of course, in the end very jialat la, mdm. chan said something,"Do you think you should get a diploma with what you have done?" I know the answer and replied "no, its not good enough." But what stikes me was Mr.Chu's words, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well"
I end with a "thank you" everytime, because, I really thank them, for listening to my presentation while I've nthing up there.
Remembering the 10 paramis, they are in sequence for a purpose, some might not know. What comes after nekkhamma parami is panna parami and viriya parami. After renoucing is wisdom and energy. Letting go is not equivilant to "nevermind", "heck care", but ending of craving, clinging or attachment. Energy is to support so that one will not slack after letting go. I had made a mistake.
Although, I've choose the path to benefit others than myself, it is unskillfully done. Why BS above my work? Because if BS is well done, it will benefits all the members to learn dhamma and find the path to happiness. The Dhamma is so wonderful that it is worth serving it, so that others can really know the Buddha Dhamma.
My dear lecturers and friends had asked,"what happened to you?" But I can't answer because they don't understand what is Dhamma, and people will think that its just a believe, just faith, just a religion and I had to remain silent so many times. Some might think I said the above out of faith and believe also...
In the result of that, school work was very neglected. This is the mistake.
When Mr Chu said, "I hope that you are impressed that we are serious and hope that you can be serious with your work as well" then I finally realise what have went wrong. Now that I understand, when I had a priority, doesn't mean "which one should I neglect more", but "which one should I work harder for." I treated BS work seriously but I neglected school work. Without that "seriousness" there is no motivational factor to drive while doing my projects, cause I "let go" mah. I always think, "Do for other, do for other, don't be selfish". I should have let go both and treated both seriously.
Sitting there, watching the other's present, I've been thinking through all this. 'Ya, treating both seriously' putting both of them equally important. When met with cases that I have to choose between sch and BS, the priority of the work is not for us to judge 'which one should I forgo' but thinking 'how to compromise both tasks with whatever I can.' and this is skillfulnes. This is how wisdom comes before effort.
Although I might have to retain this year, really le, but I'm feeling happy now because what I've learnt is much precious above grades, its a precious experience that I can share with the next batch, with friends. Thanks to Mr Chu because, if he have not said that, I might not even learn anything out of all these efforts.
A 10 parami poem:
I should always give, (Dana)
and be a harmless person. (Sila)
Not being attached to any of them, (Nekkhamma)
I do it skillfully and wisely with tact. (Panna)
I exert effort, (Viriya)
with truthfulness, paitence and determination (Sacca, Khanti, Aditthana)
as the motivational factors.
Achieving the above factors,
I arrive at love and equanimity. (Metta, Upekkha)
With the time left, even I might get no marks, but I still have to complete what I've not completed so that I do justice to myselfm and pass my architecture exam with high marks. Thats what I can do for now to save the situation.
May I be able to fufill what I've realise.
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