Recently I've been unrestrain and no discipline for myself.
Somehow it just lack energy to hold back somethings or to exert effort on somethings. The mind just "soften" when it tries.
I've been looking at other people's progress constantly, but it seems that I had deproved alot since then. Always caring about other people's "half-heartness", "carelessness", "heedlessness" etc.
Recently, I've read a sutta about bamboo acrobats.
The master and the disciple are displaying bamboo tricks and the master was suggesting that, he shall look after him(disciple) and the disciple shall look after himself while the discple was balancing on the teacher's shoulder.
The disciple suggested that will not work, but they should look after themselves so that they can perform.
and the Buddha draw this simile:
"Looking after oneself, one looks after others.
Looking after others, one looks after oneself"
hmm...thats my mistake, where I look at others but fail to look at myself.
Looking at my last project stage... frankly speaking, no progress... I wanted to do a model, and I skipped 3 days of classes, and end up, nothing was produce becos I was doing something unrelated to my work. Where is self discipline? where is self restraint? How come I was so weak in self control?
I should establish myself within, looking at myself first, than I look at others.
"And how does one look after others by looking after oneself?
By practicing (mindfulness), by developing (it), by doing (it) a lot.
And how does one look after oneself by looking after others?
By patience, by non-harming, by loving kindness, by caring (for others).
(Thus) looking after oneself, one looks after others;
and looking after others, one looks after oneself."
Thats my work... I really lacked... mental cultivation... mind will degenerate when it is lost not established in mindfulness.
Walking at the last phase of my poly life... so soon... I hope I can finish it off with a beautiful ending.
Where it is beautiful in the begining, and middle, I met friends, I do not fall into selfishness but selflessness as far as possible, I learn to love, to give truly, I learn to do things without unwillingness.
These are things where I got, more than what will be gain if I bury myself into results and grades. And now, walking to the end, my task is to pass my diploma studies, ending it rightly, ending with glory of completing 3 years and honour of virtues cultivated.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Fruitful conversation
What an intresting conversation with a wushu junior(maybe more power den me le).
and it was a younger person who was able to speak wisdom and pointed my mistakes. I see my own ego, and thus humility must be practised and listen to words of advices.
It was another turning point for me soon, as once again, there is much for me to perfect. Humility is what I truly lack. One who has no respect cannot gain in knowledge, thus no attainments. I have been too "correct" and ego did grow.
He pointed out a good point,
"overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious."
and I believe this was what everyone meant of being "harsh" and "hard", when I was again and again being commented about it. Now I see it and I sincerely apologise and confess.
If such harsh reactions become a habit, my looks will be even worse in the next rebirth, and I thought, maybe thats why I am born with a aggressive character, thus my appearance was not good, angry person never looks beautiful =)
Recalling what fenny had said, "You are correct, but wrong because you have conceit"
The idea might be correct, but it is wrong as it is potrayed with such a way and attitude. Thus, method must be skillful.
and "overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious." strikes a balance of not being too soft, where hardness doesn't hurt a person.
Most probably, tats why people tend favour people whom they liked but not the one who offers benefits out of concern of them. but sometimes, for the sake to benefit the most, popularity have to be sacrificed, and if I am to be blamed for all the negativity, den be it. Although, I do hoped to be remembered when people began to taste the sweetness of the fruits, but I'll have to accept the fact that I am not.
Thus, it becomes a mantra for me, "As long they benefit", I'll keep repeating it to perfect my Parami's. Each time I thought of being forgotten, I should do more, even more. Never give up even when gold offered and got rocks in return.
Thanks to Xiang Jie~! You gave me the chance to practise humility truly, accepting my faults without denial. Not only, I learned, but you had greatly benefited the rest of the people.
Strive to be pure, as u said =)
When time rippens, find out more about the mind in terms of seeing than analysing materially, then you can have a break thru.
and it was a younger person who was able to speak wisdom and pointed my mistakes. I see my own ego, and thus humility must be practised and listen to words of advices.
It was another turning point for me soon, as once again, there is much for me to perfect. Humility is what I truly lack. One who has no respect cannot gain in knowledge, thus no attainments. I have been too "correct" and ego did grow.
He pointed out a good point,
"overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious."
and I believe this was what everyone meant of being "harsh" and "hard", when I was again and again being commented about it. Now I see it and I sincerely apologise and confess.
If such harsh reactions become a habit, my looks will be even worse in the next rebirth, and I thought, maybe thats why I am born with a aggressive character, thus my appearance was not good, angry person never looks beautiful =)
Recalling what fenny had said, "You are correct, but wrong because you have conceit"
The idea might be correct, but it is wrong as it is potrayed with such a way and attitude. Thus, method must be skillful.
and "overly expressive towards certain things u instead of having that person to be remorseful, u might juz hurt the self conscious." strikes a balance of not being too soft, where hardness doesn't hurt a person.
Most probably, tats why people tend favour people whom they liked but not the one who offers benefits out of concern of them. but sometimes, for the sake to benefit the most, popularity have to be sacrificed, and if I am to be blamed for all the negativity, den be it. Although, I do hoped to be remembered when people began to taste the sweetness of the fruits, but I'll have to accept the fact that I am not.
Thus, it becomes a mantra for me, "As long they benefit", I'll keep repeating it to perfect my Parami's. Each time I thought of being forgotten, I should do more, even more. Never give up even when gold offered and got rocks in return.
Thanks to Xiang Jie~! You gave me the chance to practise humility truly, accepting my faults without denial. Not only, I learned, but you had greatly benefited the rest of the people.
Strive to be pure, as u said =)
When time rippens, find out more about the mind in terms of seeing than analysing materially, then you can have a break thru.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
The Funeral of the principal Mum
I was being asked to attend the principal Mum's funeral, and I went yesterday with a bunch of SP students.
I was the only person in full white attire where others are in black. LOL... anyway, I've learned much.
Firstly,I find that the new generation lacks something call "respect" and "礼". They didn't know the purpose and the moral value behind all these chinese customs that we chinese follow. The laughed, made chatted loudly and doesn't seem to be attending a funeral. I think the whole singapore casket can hear their laughters and chatters. They are ignorant of chinese values and practices and of course, they wouldn't find it disgraceful for not knowing anything and instead they find these practices ignorant. I think, it's just something wrong with the value these young people held, and who was responsible for it? Our educational system? Or the parents who dunno how to educate their kids?!
2ndly, the new generation mostly does not have virtues, like 饮水思源。They lack gratitude towards people. I didn't really know what these young people felt within them towards all this unfamiliar practices, where they should be familiar because they are a chinese. But what I felt was, I should attend this funeral with sincerity and respect. It's not my relative though, but thinking this way, it was the principals Mum, and where were we studying? SP. We get to learn in SP, we acquire new knowledge, the school teachers and including the principal are trying to teach us very good values and skills which will be very beneficial to us, example, the SP core value, which many does not really see the benefits. This is how shallow people are nowadays. And then, What made me today, is my teachers, the place I am educated, thus, I is right for my to show respects to he principal, he is just one of the benefactor, and now his mum has passed away. It is right for us to show our concern over the matter.
These group of people are called "students leader" but I see what virtue to they possess to be a leader even? If you cannot understand and feel the pain of others, how well are you being a leader?
My way of defining right and worng might be different, or say different in value with this modern society. But putting it in this way, if you are treated the way, how you treated others, how will you feel? Looking from this way, out of concern of others, somethings is ought not to be done. Then the next question will be, do you concern? when you want to be concerned and cared?
As simple as that, but people are just ignorant about virtues and thus, they cause unhappiness for themselves and others as well. This is where wise and the foolish draws the line. The wise undestood the causes of happiness but the fool doesn't sees, and when their actions ripe, they get all the negativities back, they complaint, they mourn, they find no ease, or the way out. Virtue is the first thing which makes a human like a human. People with no virtues simply not human, we always say "不是人" to bad ppl and thats how it comes about.
Putting complaints aside, after all the nagging, I can't do much about it but all I can is to not learnt these bad ways and put myself in the right way.
It made me reflected upon the truth of life, death. Maranam. there is a reflection which goes like this, "I will soon die as well, I have no doubts about it." When time's come, this body of mine will soon be laid inside the wooden box call coffin.
2 things to ponder upon. so where does all feelings and desire stands in the face of death? Material wealth seems to be out when death comes. even relatives, love ones. none belongs to the dead, and soon i wil be dead, thus this possession will be gone.
Let me see my past life soon, seeing this repeat cycle, it seems not worthy to stay on, and the samsara is dangerous. In this countless rebirths, what happiness I had not get? what sorrow I had not been through? In fact, i just lacked nthing much, just being not satisfied only. The buddha says that the amount tears which beings had is more than the sea.
Thus, should I forgo and go forth?
I was the only person in full white attire where others are in black. LOL... anyway, I've learned much.
Firstly,I find that the new generation lacks something call "respect" and "礼". They didn't know the purpose and the moral value behind all these chinese customs that we chinese follow. The laughed, made chatted loudly and doesn't seem to be attending a funeral. I think the whole singapore casket can hear their laughters and chatters. They are ignorant of chinese values and practices and of course, they wouldn't find it disgraceful for not knowing anything and instead they find these practices ignorant. I think, it's just something wrong with the value these young people held, and who was responsible for it? Our educational system? Or the parents who dunno how to educate their kids?!
2ndly, the new generation mostly does not have virtues, like 饮水思源。They lack gratitude towards people. I didn't really know what these young people felt within them towards all this unfamiliar practices, where they should be familiar because they are a chinese. But what I felt was, I should attend this funeral with sincerity and respect. It's not my relative though, but thinking this way, it was the principals Mum, and where were we studying? SP. We get to learn in SP, we acquire new knowledge, the school teachers and including the principal are trying to teach us very good values and skills which will be very beneficial to us, example, the SP core value, which many does not really see the benefits. This is how shallow people are nowadays. And then, What made me today, is my teachers, the place I am educated, thus, I is right for my to show respects to he principal, he is just one of the benefactor, and now his mum has passed away. It is right for us to show our concern over the matter.
These group of people are called "students leader" but I see what virtue to they possess to be a leader even? If you cannot understand and feel the pain of others, how well are you being a leader?
My way of defining right and worng might be different, or say different in value with this modern society. But putting it in this way, if you are treated the way, how you treated others, how will you feel? Looking from this way, out of concern of others, somethings is ought not to be done. Then the next question will be, do you concern? when you want to be concerned and cared?
As simple as that, but people are just ignorant about virtues and thus, they cause unhappiness for themselves and others as well. This is where wise and the foolish draws the line. The wise undestood the causes of happiness but the fool doesn't sees, and when their actions ripe, they get all the negativities back, they complaint, they mourn, they find no ease, or the way out. Virtue is the first thing which makes a human like a human. People with no virtues simply not human, we always say "不是人" to bad ppl and thats how it comes about.
Putting complaints aside, after all the nagging, I can't do much about it but all I can is to not learnt these bad ways and put myself in the right way.
It made me reflected upon the truth of life, death. Maranam. there is a reflection which goes like this, "I will soon die as well, I have no doubts about it." When time's come, this body of mine will soon be laid inside the wooden box call coffin.
2 things to ponder upon. so where does all feelings and desire stands in the face of death? Material wealth seems to be out when death comes. even relatives, love ones. none belongs to the dead, and soon i wil be dead, thus this possession will be gone.
Let me see my past life soon, seeing this repeat cycle, it seems not worthy to stay on, and the samsara is dangerous. In this countless rebirths, what happiness I had not get? what sorrow I had not been through? In fact, i just lacked nthing much, just being not satisfied only. The buddha says that the amount tears which beings had is more than the sea.
Thus, should I forgo and go forth?
Friday, November 17, 2006
Buddhism begins where science ends
“Science can give no assurance herein. But Buddhism can meet the Atomic Challenge, because the supramundane knowledge of Buddhism begins where science leaves off. And this is clear enough to anyone who has made a study of Buddhism. For, through Buddhist Meditation, the atomic constituents making up matter have been seen and felt, and the sorrow, or unsatisfactoriness (or Dukkha), of their 'arising and passing away' (dependent on causes) has made itself with what we call a 'soul' or 'atma' - the illusion of Sakkayaditthi, as it is called in the Buddha's teaching.”
Egerton C. Baptist,
"Supreme Science of the Buddha"
Egerton C. Baptist,
"Supreme Science of the Buddha"
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